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Chapter 8: The Loaded Die
If you READ MULTIPLE FORKS of Chapter 7 (Noob Negotiator/Bear Battler/Dastardly Deceiver), then put a tally mark in the Sneaky Peeky box on the last page.
If, however, you MADE YOUR CHOICE AND STUCK WITH IT, then put a tally mark in the Carefully Consistent box on the last page.
When they reach the crossroads, the adventurers (except Alice) notice that the mess has been cleaned up some since their last pass through. The rocks and earth are still scorched, but the human remains have all been cleared away.
“That reminds me,” Pannych says, “We should probably tell Jim that the crossroads are safe now.”
“When were the crossroads unsafe,” Alice asks.
“When someone got impatient and exploded the first person we met,” Pannych says, looking pointedly at Phyr. Alice and Vector turn to him with curious looks on their faces.
“Oh, my god,” Phyr says, rolling his eyes. “Look, it was my first day. I’ve sworn off killing random townspeople, OK?”
“It’ll be fine,” Pannych says. “Nobody suspects us, and we can lump it in with clearing the goblins out of the fort. Easy-peasy.”
“Lemon squeezy,” Phyr finishes. “Hey, what’s that?” Toward Leetsburg, the glow of torchlight can be seen around a curve in the road, and soon a pair of Noob Town guards round the bend. As they get closer, the adventurers see that one is male, the other female; they have shortswords and pistols on their belts, and each carries a torch.
“Ho there,” one guard calls when they spot the adventurers, “Identify yourselves!” Their hands go to their pistols, but they do not draw yet.
“Travelers,” Pannych says, “Returning to Noob Town.”
“Stay right there,” the other guard says, “And make no sudden movements.”
Phyr groans quietly, but the adventurers otherwise make no move. When they get close enough to make out details in the darkness, the guards notice Vector’s grey cloak, and one shouts, “Grayl!” He draws his pistol, while the other guard pulls a glowing thing from her belt and speaks into it, saying, “Grayl spotted at the crossroads. I repeat: Grayl spotted at the crossroads. Requesting backup!”
“Wait,” Pannych shouts, “That’s not Grayl!” She raises her hands to them, palms out in protest.
“Don’t move,” one guard says, training his pistol on Vector and moving steadily forward. “Wait. Pannych? Phyr? Is that you?”
“Yes,” Pannych says, recognizing him from yesterday evening at the Noob Town gate. “This is our friend.”
“Grayl is your friend,” he says in disbelief, his pistol still trained on Vector.
“This isn’t Grayl,” Pannych insists. “We fought Grayl, and this guy is our friend.”
“But there’s two Grayls,” the other guard says.
“Christ, word travels fast,” Phyr says. “But we fought both of them, and this is still our friend.”
“But he’s wearing a grey cloak,” the one guard protests, “And carrying a - wait, that’s a quarterstaff, not a polearm.” He looks Vector up and down suspiciously. “And you say you fought Grayl? And lived?”
“Well, yeah,” Phyr says. “I mean, it was a close scrape, but we got by. They’re still at large, mind you, but we drove them off.”
“Wow,” he says, holstering his pistol. “Jim was right, you guys are the real deal.”
The other guard calls in the false alarm. Phyr says, “Hey, what’s that thing you’re talking into?”
“Speaking stone,” she says. “Lets you talk with someone over distances like they’re right next to you.”
“Huh, like a walkie-talkie?”
“A what now?”
“A - nevermind. Hey, do you guys always patrol the roads this late?”
“Not normally,” one guard says, “But we started last night, now that noobs have been encroaching on the crossroads. Normally, they keep to Noob Valley, Noob Forest, and the Noob Mountains.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem any more,” Pannych says.
“Wait, what,” the other guard says. “You took care of the noob problem - and tangled with Grayl? By the dead gods, what exactly have you two been up to today?”
If you have FOUR OR MORE TALLY MARKS in SNEAKY PEEKY, or ONE TALLY MARK IN RETCONNING RASCAL, then put a tally mark in the Painful Portent box on the last page and click here.
If your last page meets NEITHER OF THE ABOVE CONDITIONS, then put a tally mark in the Painful Portent box on the last page and click here.
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