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The goblins get a surprise round: the dozen outside land and prepare to advance into the gatehouse, while the ones in the courtyard close in on both sides. The archers above pepper them with arrows for double damage: four miss, two hit Pannych for 11 damage each, three hit Phyr for 4 each and one crits for 40 (lodging in his scalp), and two hit Vector for 10 each.
With this many combatants, there’s no roll for turn order - everyone goes in order of their combined Observation and Nimbleness scores. Pannych is at the top of the order, followed by the goblin archers and their leader, then Phyr, then the rest of the goblins, and finally Vector.
“Pause!” Pannych takes a deep breath and considers the situation. Phyr and Vector curse in pain and grumble incoherently. “OK,” she begins, “You guys shoot the ones down here, I’ll rush the parapet and get the archers. Sound good?”
“Roger,” Phyr says. “Vector, let’s each take a side?”
“Ten-four,” Vector says. “What about the guys coming through the gatehouse?”
“On it,” Pannych says. “I’ll cut the tripwire on my way in.”
They take a couple deep breaths and mentally prepare before Pause wears off, then spring into action. Pannych rushes to the door of the gatehouse, out of view of the archers above, and raises her sword to swing.
The archers fire again, but without the bonus from the surprise round, the arrows bounce harmlessly off of Phyr and Vector’s armor.
Phyr drops his trap detector, grips the blaster with both hands, and fires at his group of approaching goblins: he hits one, killing it instantly, and three nearby take half damage from the explosion and are thrown clear and nearly dead, having only 3 or 5 HP left.
The goblins in the courtyard are startled by the explosion, but their leader’s Leadership bonus augments their Combat roll to keep their resolve. All the goblins in the courtyard keep advancing, and are about halfway to the adventurers - the ones in the gatehouse are right in position.
Vector takes a knee, aims, and fires his laser rifle: he hits an unarmored goblin square in the chest for 37 damage, and it is knocked on its back.
Pannych cuts the tripwire with her sword, throws open the gatehouse door, and rushes inside, almost reaching the stairs up to the parapet - the spiked log swings down and right into the approaching goblins, killing nine of them instantly and leaving three alive.
The archers fire again, mostly dealing no damage, but one scores a critical hit on Vector, lodging in the exposed curve of his neck for 20 damage.
Phyr blasts at the advancing crowd again, killing one and sending four more flying and nearly dead.
The goblins in the courtyard advance again, only three on Phyr’s side left unscathed by his blaster - they’re just one round more away from reaching the adventurers. One of the goblins in the gatehouse fails a Combat check and rushes them, but is caught by the backswing of the spiked log; the other two wait sensibly. The one that Vector had knocked down gets to his feet and prepares to resume the charge.
Vector takes aim at another unarmored goblin, and hits him for 37 damage, knocking him down as well.
Pannych beats a Nimbleness check to take the stairs three at a time, now with only a door between her and the goblin archers. They fire on the adventurers below, but do no damage.
Phyr blasts again, killing one goblin and putting the other two on their backs in critical condition. The three victims of his first blast are just getting to their feet. He turns around and sees the crowd about to reach Vector, and shouts, “Vector! Switch!” before leaping in front of him.
Six goblins pile onto Phyr, and three go after Vector. The rest in the courtyard are still recovering and resuming the charge, except for one - a mender on Vector’s side, who casts Heal on one of the laser-shot goblins and heals him for 30. The six overwhelm Phyr and hit him successfully, but they only do 2 damage each. The three on Vector hit him for 5 damage each.
Vector leaps free of the goblins, taking up Phyr’s previous position, and aims at one of the stragglers. He hits the one in the lead, finishing it off.
Pannych opens the door and makes for the nearest goblin, then swings her sword in a surprise attack. She hits for double damage, dealing 75 - it falls to its knees screaming, and dies. The rest of the archers notice her now.
The archers all turn to shoot Pannych, but she casts Hide while they’re drawing their bows, and is replaced by a log. She appears on the landing inside the gatehouse, behind the inward-opening door and out of their sight. The archers all blink in surprise as their arrows strike a wooden log, which teeters and falls over.
Phyr, surrounded by goblins, fires his blaster at the ground. He doesn’t hit anyone directly, but the six on him all take half damage from the explosion and are left with 3 or 5 HP each - Phyr takes 32 damage himself and is knocked on his back.
The goblins Phyr just bombed are stunned for two rounds, but the mender heals the other of Vector’s stragglers and keeps his distance. Phyr’s stragglers continue to advance on Vector, who drops his rifle and draws his quarterstaff just before two of them reach him.
Pannych holds her action from behind the door and rolls 16 on Observation to wait until after the archers have fired.
The archers all loose arrows at Phyr, downed in the courtyard. They mostly miss or bounce off harmlessly, but two hit his exposed arm and he takes 4 damage from each. Pannych then rushes out for her surprise attack and kills another goblin, then retreats into the stairwell. The leader and the archers hear the commotion and are aware of Pannych’s presence once more.
Phyr gets to his feet and fires his blaster at the mender, killing him instantly.
The goblins that the mender had healed reach Phyr, and hit him for 2 damage each.
Pannych holds her action in the stairwell and waits for the goblin archers to enter single file, which they faithfully do. She cuts them down one by one, while Phyr and Vector mop up the ones in the courtyard. Phyr blasts at the two in the gatehouse, who are trying to maneuver around the spiked log - he destroys the log and kills the goblins.
Vector casts Heal on himself and Phyr over the two rounds it takes them to reach the top of the gatehouse, for 16 health each. They go up the same side as Pannych, though, and she tells them to go around to the other side - Phyr says No, and the next time she’s clear of the doorway, he fires through it, killing the rest of the goblin troops outside as they are thrown from the parapet and die from the fall.
Seeing the way things are going, the goblin leader jumps over the side of the parapet, slides down a rope, and runs away across the drawbridge. Vector takes two rounds to draw a bead on him, then shoots him for 32 damage, crippling his leg and knocking him down. The adventurers slide down the ropes and go to finish him off.
As they walk up to the crawling goblin leader, he rolls onto his back and screams, “WAAAAIIIIT! PLEASE!” The adventurers are surprised to hear him speak.
“Uh, what,” Vector asks after a beat.
“You’ve defeated us! Victory is yours! We shall occupy your fortress no longer! Please, let me go to tell the other villages!”
“Why,” Phyr asks, “So you can rally your troops and come after us?”
“No! No! Why would we do that? Clearly, you are mighty warriors - we stand no chance!” Phyr gives him a look to go on. “These goblins have families! Friends! Loved ones who deserve to know they died valiantly in battle! Please, let me tell them, and I will also say to stay away from this place.”
Pannych and Vector are struck by compassion, but Phyr kicks at a nearby rock and says, “Dammit! Isn’t there anyone in this world I can kill without feeling bad?”
“Wh-what,” the goblin leader asks.
“The NPCs have interconnected lives! The noobs have language and culture! The goblins have families and friends! Fuck’s sake, do the cows and pigs have a rich literary tradition?”
“N-no, they’re just animals,” the goblin leader says. Phyr looks daggers at him, and he quickly apologizes up and down, then repeats his request to be let go so that he can deliver the news.
If you think the adventurers should LET THE GOBLIN LEADER GO, then check “Humane Hero” on the last page and click here.
If you think they should FINISH HIM OFF, then check “Merciless Monster” on the last page and click here.
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