Pannych and Phyr chase Grayl into the dark cave, lit dimly by glowing green moss on the walls. The foul stench of noob that permeates the valley is almost unbearable inside the cave, but the adventurers both succeed at a Ruggedness check to ignore it and press on.
About 40 yards in, Pannych passes an Observation check and spots a discarded cigarette butt on the cave floor, a wisp of smoke trailing above it. She takes a knee to examine it, distracted from the chase, and sees a narrow passage doubling back. On a hunch, she starts sneaking along this side passage. The moss either doesn’t grow here, or has been cleared away, making it more difficult to spot from the main passage and also to navigate. She takes ten on her Wilderness and Stealth checks to make sure to stay safe and silent.
Phyr follows Grayl down the twisting moss-lit passage, and it soon opens up into a large cavern. Just as he glances around, Grayl skids to a stop and shouts, “Hold!” Phyr is unable to dodge the magical shackle, and is rooted in place.
They roll for turn order - Grayl is first. He casts Wall, and a glowing yellow magical barrier materializes in front of him.
Phyr draws a blaster and fires, but the wall absorbs the blast with no problem.
The other assassin (with the spear) appears on a ledge above the one with the scythe and leaps down, passing a Nimbleness check to roll into a combat-ready posture.
Scythe Grayl grins and says, “Your friend has abandoned you - you cannot stand against us both,” and holds his action.
Phyr looks around and, not seeing Pannych, freaks out a bit. Given that he’s one against two, he holds his action to make the best use of it.
Spear Grayl says, “Thistleheart!” and dashes past Phyr with blinding speed, flanking him - Scythe Grayl then uses his held action and says, “Greater Fireball!” which he then lobs over the magical wall at Phyr. Phyr is unable to dodge, but uses his held action to cast Chill on the compact-car-sized fireball arcing through the air toward him - he has no idea how much mana he needs to use, so he pumps 500 into it (but his enchanted earring refunds 450 of that), and the fireball is harmlessly dissipated in an intense blast of cold.
Scythe Grayl holds his action again, as does Phyr; then Spear Grayl takes a jab at Phyr while Scythe Grayl casts another greater fireball. Figuring the fireball is the greater threat, Phyr chills it again, but takes 16 damage from the spear strike.
Scythe Grayl holds his action again, and Phyr shoots Spear Grayl for 84 damage. She yelps as she is thrown by the blast.
Spear Grayl gets up and says, “Shield!” A shield of magical energy appears over her off-hand. Scythe Grayl lobs another greater fireball, and Phyr can’t chill it, so he takes 32 damage.
Scythe Grayl casts Hold on Phyr again, as it’s about to wear off. Phyr blasts at Spear Grayl, who is pushed back but unharmed thanks to her shield, and draws his other blaster. Spear Grayl advances with her shield raised, but is unable to close the distance.
Scythe Grayl casts Wall again, as that’s about to wear off, too. Suddenly, the sounds of a scuffle are heard from above - all three combatants hold their actions and look up. The next round, Pannych comes tumbling down from a ledge above Spear Grayl, entangled with a third grey-cloaked figure, this one wielding a laser rifle. They both fail a Nimbleness check and take 10 damage from the fall.
“What the-” Phyr says, “They are multiplying, Pannych!” Pannych and Rifle Grayl get to their feet, and everyone freezes for a moment.
“HEY,” another voice shouts from the chamber entrance. The combat session ends from all the interruptions, and the five turn to see two more people at the chamber entrance: one wears armor and holds a flaming sword, the other is dressed in ranger’s garb and has a bolt-action rifle.
“Who the fuck are you guys,” Phyr asks.
“We could ask you the same question,” says the knight.
“I asked first,” Phyr says.
The ranger says, “We’re Pannych and Phyr, destined heroes foretold to-”
“Yeah, yeah,” Phyr interrupts. “We’ve heard that bit before. So what?”
“We hold the Orbs of Density,” the knight proclaims, and he and the ranger produce a pair of dimly glowing, dark blue orbs, each the size of a baseball. “Err, that is, ‘Destiny!’ But don’t get me wrong, they’re very dense, too. Quite heavy and cumbersome. But they’re definitely Orbs of Destiny.”
Phyr turns to Pannych and says, “Sidebar?”
Pannych says, “Pause! OK, thirty seconds!”
“This is a lot of guys and these Grayl fuckers are no slouches,” Phyr says quickly.
“I think we can distract the Grayls while they fight the destined heroes,” Pannych says.
“Think I can steal the orbs and we can skedaddle while we’re paused,” Phyr asks.
“You can’t move during pause we can only talk and move our eyes,” Pannych says.
“You can pause,” Rifle Grayl asks incredulously.
Pannych and Phyr shift their eyes in his direction. “You can tell,” Pannych asks with equal surprise.
“What the fuck,” Spear Grayl says, “I can’t move or cast anything!”
“Shut up, Rayla” Scythe Grayl shouts.
“Well, there goes our plan,” Phyr says.
“New plan,” Pannych says, “Just follow my lead.”
Pause ends, and Pannych rushes to grab Phyr by the arm and drag him away from the fight, while saying very loudly to the destined heroes, “Whoops, our mistake! By all means, go and fulfill your destiny! We’ll just go back to Noob Town and think about our life choices!”
Phyr pulls out his healing ray and starts using it as soon as they exit the chamber. “Yo, those two guys were killing me pretty hard,” he says. “I don’t know what we’ll do about the third one.”
“Yeah,” Pannych agrees, “And I don’t think the orb-havers are gonna stand much of a chance.”
Phyr says, “Hey, I’m really concerned over the fact that the Grayls are included in the whole ‘Pause’ thing.”
“Me, too,” Pannych says with a nod, “Tom warned me about that, kinda - he said, ‘Be wary when you meet Grayl, he’s not who you think him to be.’ So, exact words: ‘when you meet’ implies we hadn’t yet met, and we already knew there was more than one of them, so I think the warning’s about the third guy and there’s some sort of additional surprise with him.”
“Sure, fine,” Phyr says, “Whatever you say. Look, are we gonna go back in and try to mop up, or are we gonna run off? Because I’m not quite topped up and it looks like the destined heroes are dead.”
Pannych turns her attention back to the chamber just in time to see Rayla - the one with the spear - impale the ranger and dump her body next to the armored one, whose flaming sword has been extinguished. “Brave face,” she says, nudging Phyr, right as the trio turn to focus on them. Phyr puts away his healing ray and draws both his blasters, while Pannych draws her blade and readies a shuriken. “Your little ‘ambush’ didn’t work, assholes. You ready for Round Two?” Her middling Performance roll gets mixed results.
“What,” says Rifle Grayl. “Did you two idiots not see what just happened to those other two idiots?”
“Hey,” Scythe Grayl says, “About that. Those two don’t have Orbs of Destiny, and they might be demigods - or something real close, at any rate. We should bail.”
Rayla nods, grabs Scythe Grayl around the waist and says, “Thistleheart!” Then she leaps back up top of the ledge from whence she came, her companion in tow, and they sprint into the darkness.
Rifle Grayl, now alone, lowers his weapon and says, “That true? Are you two demigods?”
Pannych says, “The more important question is: who are you?”
He considers his options for a moment, then takes a deep breath and says, “My name’s Vector.”
“Wait,” Phyr says, “Sye?!”
Vector blinks in surprise, then says, “Dee? Dale?”
“Yeah,” Pannych says with a smile, putting her blade back in its scabbard. “But we’re Pannych and Phyr here. Same as the destined heroes.”
“Huh,” Vector says, lighting up a cigarette. “Follow me - there’s a path through the lair that leads out another way, maybe we can catch up.”
“Wait,” Phyr says, holstering his blasters and taking out his healing ray again. “Why in Hell would we wanna follow them?”
Vector says, “Those assholes duped me into trying to kill you! Think I’m gonna let them get away with that?”
“Good point,” Phyr admits, “But they really did a number on me. What the Hell level are they?”
“Oh, we’re all level six,” Vector says. “We’ve been killing destined heroes for a while, now.”
“Yeah, we’re only level one,” Pannych says, “So I don’t think we’re picking a fight any time soon. Plus, I’m pretty sure the one with the spear came back from the dead. Point being, I am in no rush at all to tangle with them again.”
“Fair,” Vector says, “But I still think we should go through the lair, see if they left anything good behind.” With that agreed, they head deeper into the cave - after Phyr loots the Orbs of Destiny from the heroes’ corpses and Pannych stows them in her bag of tricks. They weigh about fifteen pounds each, but are weightless in the magical bag.
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