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Chapter 4: Noob Valley
Pannych yanks the door open and rushes outside to see Phyr whooping in triumph.
“Hey, experience points! Ooh, that tickles,” he says with a shudder. “Wait, what the fuck? How come I only got two XP from that fight?” They each get 5 XP for completing a quest step. “I mean... that’s better?”
“What happened,” Pannych shouts, leaping over the gate.
“Oh, not too much. Just a random encounter.”
“With who,” Pannych asks impatiently.
“I dunno, some fuckin’ guys,” Phyr says. He notices the look on her face and says, “I promise it was self-defense!” Pannych makes a Savvy roll to see if he’s telling the truth, gets a 15, and decides he is.
“OK,” she says. “So. First actual fight. How did it go?”
“So there I was,” Phyr begins, “Minding my own business, when alluva sudden, these assholes jumped outta thin freakin’ air and tried to mug me!”
“How do you know they wanted to mug you,” Pannych asks suspiciously.
“Because one of ‘em said, ‘Yo! Your money or your life, punk!’ And they had guns on me. Is that good enough for you?” Pannych rolls her eyes and nods her head to the side. “Anyway, they got the drop on me and I was at the bottom of the turn order, so I said, ‘How about you shitheads get the fuck outta here, and I don’t kill you.’ Then they started laughing so hard that it took them a whole turn, which - I mean, ow to my pride, but yay opportunity! So I drew my blaster and blew one of ‘em away, and the other one freaked out and ran off!”
“You let him get away,” Pannych asks, incredulous.
“No, I said he ran off. I wasn’t finished. He took about five steps before I blew the shit out of him, too!”
“Uh-huh,” Pannych says.
“Hey, are you all right,” Phyr asks. “What did Tom say to you?”
“A lot of things. Has it... really been seventeen years since I started the comic?”
“Uh, yeah,” Phyr says. “But didn’t you know that?”
“No. I thought we were still teenagers. I must’ve wiped my character’s memory,” she trails off. “How am I doing? I mean, outside?”
“I don’t think I should... I mean, if you wiped your memory, then it must’ve been for a reason, right?”
Pannych thinks for a moment, and then says, “I guess so. But, I mean, you do know... don’t you?”
“Well, yeah,” Phyr says awkwardly. Pannych looks at him expectantly. He sighs. “Look, I’m not gonna lie: you’re in a bit of a rough patch. But in a lot of ways, you’re in better shape than you’ve ever been.” Pannych looks pensive. Phyr adds, “For what it’s worth, I think you’ll be fine. I mean, I think you’re OK.”
Pannych nods and repeats, “OK. What do you remember about the comic?”
Phyr thinks for a moment and says, “Not much, come to think of it. You must’ve wiped my memory of it so that I wouldn’t meta-game too hard. I remember that you started it, we worked on it for a couple years, we stopped... that’s about it. Like, I remember the fact that we talked about it a lot, but I don’t remember what we said or what happened.”
“I see,” Pannych says, tapping her chin. “Well anyway, we should head to Noob Valley. Tom said we’ll find what we’re looking for there.”
“Yeah, didn’t Jim say that’s where Grayl was spotted a bunch? I bet they’ve got a lair there or something.”
They check briefly for any loot from the fight, but everything’s been blasted to charred uselessness. After double-checking their gear, they head out to the road and turn back toward Noob Valley.
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