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When they reach the crossroads, the adventurers notice that the mess has been cleaned up somewhat since their last pass through. The rocks and earth are still scorched, but the human remains have all been cleared away.
“That reminds me,” Pannych says, “We should probably tell Jim that the crossroads are safe now.”
“When were the crossroads unsafe,” Alice asks.
“When someone got impatient and exploded the first person we met,” Pannych says, looking pointedly at Phyr. Alice and Vector turn to him with curious looks on their faces.
“Oh, my god,” Phyr says, rolling his eyes. “Look, it was my first day. I’ve sworn off killing random townspeople, OK?”
“It’ll be fine,” Pannych says. “Nobody suspects us, and we can lump it in with clearing the goblins out of the fort. Easy-peasy.”
“Lemon squeezy,” Phyr finishes. “Hey, what’s that?” Toward Leetsburg, the glow of torchlight can be seen around a curve in the road, and soon a pair of Noob Town guards round the bend. As they get closer, the adventurers see that one is male, the other female; they have shortswords and pistols on their belts, and each carries a torch.
“Ho there,” one guard calls when they spot the adventurers, “Identify yourselves!” Their hands go to their pistols, but they do not draw yet.
“Travelers,” Pannych says, “Returning to Noob Town.”
“Stay right there,” the other guard says, “And make no sudden movements.”
Phyr groans quietly, but the adventurers otherwise make no move. When they get close enough to make out details in the darkness, the guards notice Vector’s grey cloak, and one shouts, “Grayl!” He draws his pistol, while the other guard pulls a glowing thing from her belt and speaks into it, saying, “Grayl spotted at the crossroads. I repeat: Grayl spotted at the crossroads. Requesting backup!”
“Wait,” Pannych shouts, “That’s not Grayl!” She raises her hands to them, palms out in protest.
“Don’t move,” one guard says, training his pistol on Vector and moving steadily forward. “Wait. Pannych? Phyr? Is that you?”
“Yes,” Pannych says, recognizing him from yesterday evening at the Noob Town gate. “This is our friend.”
“Grayl is your friend,” he says in disbelief, his pistol still trained on Vector.
“This isn’t Grayl,” Pannych insists. “We fought Grayl, and this guy is our friend.”
“But there’s two Grayls,” the other guard says.
“Christ, word travels fast,” Phyr says. “But we fought both of them, and this is still our friend.”
“But he’s wearing a grey cloak,” the one guard protests, “And carrying a - wait, that’s a quarterstaff, not a polearm.” He looks Vector up and down suspiciously. “And you say you fought Grayl? And lived?”
“Well, yeah,” Phyr says. “I mean, it was a close scrape, but we got by. They’re still at large, mind you, but we drove them off.”
“Wow,” he says, holstering his pistol. “Jim was right, you guys are the real deal.”
The other guard calls in the false alarm. Vector says, “Hey, what’s that thing you’re talking into?”
“Speaking stone,” she says. “Lets you talk with someone over distances like they’re right next to you.”
“Huh, like a walkie-talkie?”
“A what now?”
“A - nevermind. Hey, do you guys always patrol the roads this late?”
“Not normally,” one guard says, “But we started last night, now that noobs have been encroaching on the crossroads. Normally, they keep to Noob Valley, Noob Forest, and the Noob Mountains.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem any more,” Pannych says.
“Wait, what,” the other guard says. “You took care of the noob problem - and tangled with Grayl? By the dead gods, what exactly have you two been up to?”
Pannych looks at Phyr, unsure of how to proceed - then her eyes roll up into her head and she staggers. Phyr reaches out to stop her falling, but she recovers before losing her balance completely. The guards back up a step as Alice and Vector move in around her. Phyr says, “Whoah, give her space. She needs room to breathe.” He pats her gently on the shoulder with one hand, the other still supporting her, and says, “Pannych, do you feel like you can stand on your own?”
She takes a deep breath and gives a firm nod. “Yeah, I’m good.” The guards look to each other, and Pannych picks up on their anxiety. She turns to them and says, “We went to see Jim first thing in the morning, and he sent us to Tom the prophet. Then we went to Noob Valley, killed some noobs on the way to Noob Cave, fought Grayl and ran into Vector here, then went to Fort Roguelike to rescue Alice-”
“You didn’t ‘rescue’ me,” Alice says petulantly, “I could’ve left any time I felt like it.”
“Fine,” Pannych says, “We killed goblins and necromancers until she felt like leaving. Better?”
Alice narrows her empty eyes and says, “Yes,” then mutters, “It was really just the one necromancer, though.”
“Wait, Alice?!” The other guard interrupts before Pannych can continue. “Is that you?”
“None other,” she says. “I mean, I’ve got a slight case of pasty right now, but don’t worry. It’s not catching.”
The guards’ concern is undiminished, but one guard says, “Busy day for you.”
“Yeah,” Pannych says. “So, we’re heading into town for the night. You two have a good evening, and stay safe!”
The guards stand at the crossroads for several moments in awe as the adventurers strike out for Noob Town.
After they have gained a short distance, Phyr turns to Pannych and asks, “So what was that back there?”
“I don’t know,” Pannych says. “Just all of a sudden, I got this weird feeling, like remembering stuff that never happened. Leaving Vincent at the crossroads, talking to the noobs, a small cottage - nothing super clear, just flashes, like general impressions of stuff.”
“Weird,” Vector says. “You think that might have been from the comic? Like, the first version?”
“Maybe,” Pannych says. She shakes off the last of the eerie vertigo.
“OK,” Phyr says, “I want to do some quick tests on you. You up for that?”
“I mean… I feel fine,” Pannych says.
“Sure, sure - but just to check. If you feel like you can’t, that’s OK, but it’s also important.”
“All right, if you say so,” she says. “But why, though?”
“Well, if you’re having some kind of cognitive impairment or dissociative episode-”
“No, I mean, why do you say so? How do you know it’s good to do these tests? You have, like, three points in the Medical skill.”
“Oh,” Phyr says. “Well, out there in the real world, I’m a doctor now.”
“You’re a doctor?!”
“OK, harsh. But yes.”
“No, no,” Pannych says, “I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, like, kids like us don’t grow up to be doctors an’ shit. Our idea of a fun time was to walk along the train tracks and explore abandoned buildings. So, like, good on ya. Really, man.”
“Um, thanks,” he says. “So: tests?”
“Yeah, sure,” she agrees.
He puts her through some basic range of motion tests with no issue. He then asks some basic questions about her past and identity, which go similarly well when he remembers that this is her seventeen-year-old self. After a few cognitive exercises like elementary arithmetic and logic, he pronounces her good enough to game on. The adventurers resume their journey to Noob Town.
The guards recognize the four adventurers as they approach the Noob Town gates.
“Holy shit, it is them,” one guard says.
“See? I told you they weren’t dead,” the other one says.
The guards usher them inside, and Alice leads them through the streets to a tavern called The Loaded Die. There’s a sign on the front door that reads, “Closed for maintenance,” but she produces a keyring from her satchel and lets them all in. She takes down four chairs from one of the tables so they can have a seat, then lights a hurricane lamp and heads behind the bar. She returns a moment later with a tankard of ale, and all but slams it down in front of Phyr.
“There,” Alice says. “You happy now?” Phyr takes a big swig and swallows, oblivious to the Observation and Informedness rolls that he, Pannych, and Vector just failed.
“Yes,” he says, “Quite.” Alice nods, then fetches water for the rest of them.
“OK,” she sighs heavily, falling down into a chair herself. “We all need showers. And laundry. I’ve got both here in the back, as well as some robes and loaner uniforms you can sleep in. There are bedrooms upstairs, too. You guys can level up in your sleep.”
“Right,” Phyr says, “How does all that work? With the 1 XP per kill and everything? You said you’d tell us.”
“Oh, yeah,” Alice says, “I did say I’d do that, didn’t I? OK, so basically, every living thing has a life force. And when you kill something, you absorb a small chunk of that life force for being around when it dies - about one percent. When you’ve absorbed enough life force, like a whole person’s worth, then you gain a level in power. And if you kill something that’s second level, you get twice as much; three times as much for third level, and so on.”
“Wait,” Phyr says. “Does that mean I could just kill a bunch of rabbits to gain a level?”
“I mean, you could,” Alice says, “But do you really want to do that?”
Phyr stammers for a moment, then looks down at the table and says, “No, not really.”
“Exactly,” she continues, “But you also gain life force for doing certain important things, too. Making progress toward life goals, things like that. Most people, they work the family farm, or get a job, or trade for a living - those folks certainly gain skills, but they can easily go their whole lives at first or second level. It’s usually only people like soldiers, or guild members, or adventurers who get past the first few levels. But they also lead dangerous lives, and tend to die young. So you don’t really see a whole lot of high-level people around. In fact, Vector, you’re probably a higher level than 95% of the people in this town.”
“Huh,” Vector says. “Neat.”
“So, when I kill people,” Phyr says, “Does that mean I’m absorbing pieces of their souls?”
“No, not their souls,” Alice says, “Their life force. You can have a soul that’s not alive - like a ghost, or other spirit. The soul has identity, personality, will, and memory - life force doesn’t have any of those things, it’s just another kind of energy working its way down the mortal coil.”
“Mortal coil,” Phyr asks.
“Right, Metaphysics 101. Let me make you a picture,” Alice says. “Illusion!” She moves her hands through the air over the table, and figures of ephemeral light appear to illustrate her words. “So the world exists in three primary planes: the ethereal stream, the mortal coil, and the howling void.”
“The ethereal stream is a realm of pure change and no stability. Nothing ‘exists’ there, it’s not even a proper ‘place,’ it’s just a constant source of energy and potential. The howling void is the opposite: pure stability and no change. Nothing exists there, either; it simply consumes all that is spent and dissipated. It’s where things ‘go’ when they cease to exist - though again, it’s not really a ‘where’ at all.
“Now, in between these two, there’s the mortal coil: reality as we know it. Energy originates in the ethereal stream, then flows down through the mortal coil, where it changes from one semi-stable thing into another, and then it grounds out in the howling void. Here, there is actual space and time; here, there is both stability and change; and here alone, there is substance that is and does.”
“So when I kill something,” Phyr says, “Some of that energy goes into me, but most of it grounds out in the void?”
“That’s right,” Alice says. “OK, bedtime,” and she starts up from the table.
“But wait,” Phyr says, “How does magic work?”
“UGH,” Alice says, “Just go to the magic guild and enroll in a class already!”
“I can do that?”
“Yes! That is literally half of why they exist!”
“How long do those classes last,” Phyr asks.
“Like a year,” Alice says.
“Man, I don’t wanna wait a whole year - can’t you just bottom-line it for me?”
Alice groans and says, “Fine. OK, so what most people call ‘magic’ is actually three separate things: magic potential, magic performed, and magic manifested. Respectively: mana, abbe, and ether. All beings with magic affinity are able to contain a certain amount of mana, or magic potential, in their being. Think of it like a barrel that collects rain: when the barrel’s full, even if it keeps on raining, the overflow just moves right along without ever being contained.
“Now, when you cast a spell, that is abbe: magic moving through you, and you can put it to a useful purpose in the form of a spell. Think of it like a tap on that rain barrel: when you open the tap, the collected water can move through, and you can use it to, I don’t know, turn a water wheel or whatever.
“So when that wheel’s turning because of the water flowing past it, that’s ether: the material effect of you working your will upon the world. Most non-mages don’t bother to distinguish between the act of casting a spell and the effect that it has, but they are different - after all, if you miss with a spell, your mana’s still gone. Is that clear?”
“I think so,” Phyr says. “So, does that mean I could make some kind of a gadget that would collect mana on its own, and could I use that to make potions?”
“Of course,” Alice says. “How do you think mana potions are made?”
“I… never gave it a lot of thought, really,” Phyr admits. “So that would work?”
“Sure, but the mana condensers they use in the magic guilds can get to be bigger than houses. Something that would fit in your belt would probably take eight to ten days just to make a 25 MP potion, and even then you’d have to charge it up a couple times a day to keep it working, and you’d have to babysit it to get the juice flowing into the bottle. You would come out ahead in the long term, but it’s probably not worth your time.”
“Aww, phooey,” Phyr says.
“Now that I’ve crushed your dreams, can it please be bedtime now?”
“Sure, I guess,” he says morosely.
The adventurers take some long, hot, much-needed showers, then throw their clothes in the Laundromagic and head for bed.
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