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The adventurers return to The Loaded Die with the afternoon Sun just half-set in the darkening sky. As they enter, they hear the sounds of boiling water and chopping on a cutting board. Alice says, “Hey, Derek! We’re back!” An orc waves through the window into the kitchen: he is of medium height with violet skin, almost as wide as he is tall, with prickly black hair and a smile that could melt butter.
“Ho, there,” Derek says. “Welcome back, boss!”
As she leads them to their table, still the only one with the chairs taken down, Alice says, “Derek was kind enough to jump ship at The Olden Targes when he heard I was back in town. Had to double his salary and front him a week’s pay, but he’s worth it - the best chef of Noob Isle!” The adventurers wave and mumble greetings. “Oh, come on! Introduce yourselves, assholes!”
Pannych musters all the enthusiasm she can to say, “I am Pannych, lesser goddess of fear and anxiety.” She gives a small curtsey, and Derek nods deferently.
“And I am Phyr,” he says morosely, “Lord of destruction an’ shit.”
“Do it right,” Alice orders.
Phyr sighs heavily, and says in somewhat less of a monotone, “I am Phyr, lord of destruction and chaos, whose wrath makes the very heavens tremble with reverence to my otherworldly might.”
She looks expectantly at Vector, who only says, “I’m Vector. Just some guy.”
They take their seats, and Alice says, “Well, that all went about as well as could be expected. But now we have to talk.”
“About what,” Pannych asks.
“About the War,” Alice says.
“You say that like it’s super-important,” Phyr says, “But Blue said the other morning that nobody really gives a shit about it.”
“Nobody here really gives a shit,” Alice says, “Because it doesn’t really affect them. Noob Isle is something of a haven from the War, because everyone wants to preserve its resources for whoever eventually takes power. There’s something of an unspoken agreement to leave it alone, because the Influences each think they have a shot - but that may drastically change, if it starts to seem like a scorched-earth policy is most strategically viable.”
“Influences,” Vector asks.
“We’re getting to that,” Alice says. “Look, Metaphorical Geography 101: this world represents Deirdre’s mind. It’s a pretty cosmopolitan and eclectic place, but also eccentric as Hell.”
“Wait,” Phyr says, “I mix up a lot of words that are kinda the same, what do those mean?”
Pannych says, “Eclectic means something has a wide-ranging background, like how I listen to basically one band from every genre. Eccentric means it’s quirky and weird, like how I put some of your stepdad’s Lords of Acid stuff on the same mixtape as They Might Be Giants.”
“Right,” Alice says. “Ninjas, knights, and laser guns all being commonplace is eclectic, while the zyxwvut is eccentric.”
“Six-a-butt,” Vector asks.
“Zix-uh-vutt,” Phyr says. “Like, the last seven letters of the alphabet. It goes backwards here?”
“Right,” Vector says, raising an eyebrow, “That is weird.”
“But Deirdre does a lot of weird things in real life, seemingly just for the sake of being different,” Alice says, “And that manifests here as little backwardnesses like the zyxwvut.”
“What seemingly,” Phyr asks. “She’s weird and difficult just for the sake of it all the time.” He looks to her and she looks away, pursing her lips. Phyr pauses for a moment and then says, “Aren’t you?”
“I mean, that’s what you’re supposed to think,” Pannych says. “But really, it’s camouflage. If I do big weird things all the time, then nobody notices when I actually slip up.”
“Slip up what,” Phyr asks.
“You know,” Pannych says. She looks at him evenly and adds, “I mean, I’m a girl here. But out there-”
“Oh, Jesus,” Phyr says. “I didn’t even think about that! Wow, you don’t even-”
Alice shouts, “Hey!” They look at her. “Focus, kiddos!” She takes a breath and says, “Actually, this brings me to the next point: just as Deirdre’s mind often goes in several directions at once, this world is a fractured and messed-up place. When she was pre-adolescent, she had really clear ideas about how the world should work, even if they were a bit naïve - that’s why Rayla was such an iron-fisted ruler. It took totalitarian tyranny to make it all work, but it worked.
“At this point in her life, though - being 17, that is - she’s starting to understand the whys and wherefores of the world’s evils and unfairness. And it grates, knowing that the world has problems that she feels bad about, but can't fix. That cognitive dissonance weighs on her mind, wearing away at her identity and reshaping it - which is where the War comes in, now that Rayla and Aqu have abdicated. Their power was sapped, and so the Influences have risen in power and they’re vying to fill the vacuum.”
“Influences, huh,” Phyr says. “So is this gonna be a music thing? Like, ‘these are the artists who influenced my own music’?”
“No,” Alice says. “Maybe think of them more like drives? Or urges - human universals, but they’ve been twisted and distorted by the dissonance, and they’re all trying to get control. Which is why you, Pannych, have to bring them under control first.”
“But if this is my mind,” Pannych says, “Then can’t I just ‘mind over matter’ and tell ‘em all to get the fuck out?”
“You can tell them whatever you want,” Alice says. “But in your experience, does that make an unwelcome thought just go away?”
Pannych looks down at the table and mumbles, “Guess not.”
Alice says, “Illusion!” A map of the world appears on the table before them. “This is the world,” she says, and then with a wave of her hand, the physical regions are overlaid with political boundaries. “House Har’tei had nine regions under its dominion.”
Vector does some quick counting and says, “That doesn’t leave much for the other Houses.”
“There are no other Houses,” Alice says. “What part of ‘tyrannical dictatorship’ do you not understand?”
Pannych says, “I guess the part where such a big piece of me wants to be a tyrant dictator.”
“Look,” Alice says, “Rayla is basically all your ‘if I ruled the world’ and ‘if I was God’ impulses, but from when you were like nine to twelve. She wanted a fair and just world where common folk weren’t disregarded, cast aside, or crushed by impersonal institutions and the rich and powerful. That comes from how you were kind of tossed around as a kid, by a legal system you didn’t understand, and which nobody really bothered to explain to you beyond saying, ‘That’s just how it works, kid.’
“And because the rich and powerful so often want to flex on the ‘little people’ and see how much they can get away with, that meant Rayla made a lot of enemies. Being the biggest and baddest kid on the playground, her solution pretty much always came down to, ‘Fine, then die.’ Eventually, her power was stripped by a prophecy that she saw coming but couldn’t prevent, so now she’s pissed, which is why she’s trying to kill everyone who stands to take her place after her fall.”
“What’s Aqu’s part in all this,” Phyr asks. “It seems like this is all kinda The Rayla Show, and he’s just along for the ride.”
“It’s a long story,” Alice says with a sigh, “But I can see how it looks that way. Look, this has all been pretty pertinent so far, but we’re getting off-topic now. I can’t give you the whole world’s history, we need to get to the nine Influences who are tearing the world apart with this Great War of theirs.”
“Wait,” Pannych says, “You’re telling me there’s nine of these assholes to kill?”
“I mean, there’s still Rayla and Aqu,” Alice says, “But yeah, nine Influences are tearing up the world right now. And you don’t have to kill them - they’re Influences, they never ‘go away.’ But essentially, yes: learning how to manage all the different things going on is a big part of growing up. Illusion!”
The map on the table is replaced by a character sheet, but before Alice can continue, Pannych winces in pain and clutches her head. “You OK,” Phyr asks.
She takes a deep breath before answering. “I - I know this guy. I don’t know who he is, or what he does, but I just got another flash. Nothing very specific - just handshakes, weird looks, and I think there was an army? That sort of thing.”
“Aashif Mephistopheles is the general of House Har’tei’s military,” Alice begins.
“Heh,” Phyr chuckles. “You mean the Har-tay Ar-may?”
“Sure, whatever” Alice says flatly. “He was Confidence, but when dissonance came into the world and disrupted the balance, he became corrupted and turned into Megalomania. Now he lusts for power, and sees military conquest as the surest path to it. Being a charismatic military leader, and without Rayla and Aqu to keep him in his place, he has rallied the bulk of the armed forces to the purpose of world domination.”
“So why’s he lawbound evil, then,” Vector asks.
“Because he likes laws just fine,” Alice says. “He just wants to be the one making and enforcing them. Anyway, his primary opponent right now is Ceena Morrigan, High Priestess of the Church of the Stars.” With a wave of Alice’s hand, the image changes to a different character sheet. Pannych does not flinch this time, but she does set her jaw and steel her gaze. “She was Faith, and has been corrupted to Self-righteousness. Ceena has transformed the former state church into a fanatical cult, and turned its members into zealots.”
“But aren’t you an atheist,” Phyr asks. “Why’s there a state church and an Influence of Faith in the first place?”
“Faith can mean many things,” Pannych says. “It can be hope, or trust - not just Twain’s ‘believing what you know ain’t so’. And I’ve had ideas for non-religious churches that serve as community centers and sources for guidance and meaning, because I thought it would be nice to run a church but without all the sin and Hell crap. So I’m not that surprised to see it was tried in here. Especially in a world where gods were known to exist but have all died.”
“Well, that was Ceena’s schtick, while House Har’tei was intact,” Alice continues, “But now she’s trying to dominate the world with an overt theocracy. She claims, surprise surprise, that there’s One True God who sees all, knows all, and judges all - and also that there’s an afterlife awaiting the dead, instead of just the all-consuming howling void.”
“What’s this ‘lawbound holy’ shit,” Phyr asks. “Why not just ‘good’?”
“Because holy doesn’t always mean good,” Pannych answers. “Holy just means ‘in accordance with the divine,’ and sometimes that can be really, really bad.”
“Bad for whom,” Vector asks. “And compared to what?”
“Hey, congratulations,” Alice says, “You just pointed out exactly what’s at issue between competing views on morality. Moving on, Edric Nadab is a successful merchant who was appointed to Minister of Finance-”
“Ooh, is he Greed? I bet he’s Greed. He’s Greed, isn’t he,” Phyr blurts out.
“Yes, he is obviously Greed,” Alice says impatiently as she concentrates to change the Illusion. “But he used to be Prosperity. Quite frankly, he’d be happy to continue running the treasury, if he thought any of the other Influences would let him. But make no mistake: he’s got his fingers in a lot of pots, and if he sees an opportunity to seize the Broken Throne, then he’ll absolutely take it.”
“Is it called that because there’s a power vacuum,” Pannych asks, shaking off another flash. As with Mephistopheles, it was all general impressions and nothing specific, so she doesn’t bring it up.
“No, it was always called that,” Alice says with a faraway look and a fond smile. “When Rayla and Aqu declared themselves High Queen and King, and it started to sink in that none could challenge their supremacy, the most powerful who remained decided to present her a magnificent throne. It was intended to be a gesture of good faith and humility on their part, but instead, Rayla was gravely insulted because she hadn’t asked for it and didn’t want it. She said she wanted her subjects to be obedient, not obsequious - then she said, ‘This is what I think of thrones,’ and smashed it with a single blow.
“She was about to turn and kill those who brought it to her, but she had a change of heart when she saw it in its broken state: the seat was now cracked down the middle, the back fallen off, the legs crushed to rubble beneath it. And then she liked it: because it lowered her instead of elevating her, she could never lean back on it for support, and it only held together for as long as she sat upon it.” Alice abruptly stops reminiscing and says, “But moving on-”
“Is it just me,” Vector asks, “Or are these exactly the worst people to be putting in charge of things? Like, why would you put Greed in charge of the treasury? That just seems like asking for trouble.”
“Edric wasn’t Greed when he was appointed,” Alice explains impatiently. “Back then, he was Prosperity. He was clearly and obviously the best person for the job. Likewise, Mephistopheles was Confidence - but he was Confidence in balance. It’s only with the corruption of dissonance that he’s become a megalomaniac.”
“But didn’t you say there was a prophecy,” Phyr asks. “If they saw their fall coming, then why’d they entrust the people who would replace them with such positions of power?”
Pannych says quietly, “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”
Alice nods and adds, “Also, that kind of peaked their careers. Leave Confidence to his own devices, and he’ll go around doing things and leveling up. Give him his dream job the moment you find him, and he’ll spend his life mostly stagnating at that high station. OK, this has been a pertinent tangent-”
“But didn’t you say life goals also give XP,” Phyr asks. “Wouldn’t becoming High Priestess of the only church be, like, the ultimate life goal?”
“Yes,” Alice says with a heavy sigh, “That’s exactly what it was. But it was also sudden, and not the end of a lifelong quest - it was handed to her on a platter, and then she had no further goal. And since she had a boss, she was working for Rayla and Aqu’s life goals, not her own. So while this gave them a short-term gain in power, it was a long-term limit on it. Getting back to-”
“I don’t know,” Vector says, “They all seem to be pretty high level, anyway.”
Alice fumes for a moment, then measures her words and says, “That’s because when Rayla and Aqu had their power stripped, their levels were also taken away to jack up the Influences. They were knocked down to first level, and while they had some kickass equipment and abilities grandfathered in, they lost everything else.”
“Hey, speaking of kickass equipment,” Phyr says, looking down at the Pearl of Transversion, “What does this thing in my armor do, anyway?”
“It gives you a power form,” Vector says. “The lower your health, the higher its level.”
“Wow,” Phyr says, “That would’ve been handy to know when I was tangling with a resurrected god.”
Pannych rolls her eyes and says, “Look, who’s next on the hit list?”
Alice nods and continues with another sheet-swapping wave of her hand. “Thank you for getting us back on topic. Speaking of powerful artifacts, Runa Morrigan was the Royal Archivist, and the Influence of Preservation. Now she is Paranoia, and she wants to find and hide all the artifacts she can so that nobody else can use them.”
Runa Morrigan: Level 16
Sex: Female, Morality: Lawless Apathetic, Race/Class: Elf Thief.
Sex: Female, Morality: Lawless Apathetic, Race/Class: Elf Thief.
Character Features: Combat Precision, Agile.
Spells: Hide, Hush, Hold, Haste, Hole, Hamper, Greater Ward, Scrye, Infuse Spirit.
Inventory: Sliver (dagger)
“How does Preservation turn into Paranoia,” Vector asks. “They don’t seem related.”
“Think self-preservation,” Alice says. “Or privacy. Like, you gotta make human connections, right? But if you just go around baring your soul to everyone, then you’ll not only alienate them, you’ll also get badly hurt. The extreme opposite of that is becoming over-private, too-guarded, and never letting anyone know anything important about you. And that’s where Runa’s at.”
“So is that, like, Ceena’s sister, then,” Phyr asks.
“No, she’s Ceena’s daughter. Well, one of them,” Alice says.
Pannych is able to take the flash in stride this time, and says, “I know her, too - I saw a forest, a hut, a clearing, lots of equipment - I think we might have trained together?”
Alice says, “That’s great, let me know when you remember something concrete or useful,” before waving her hand over the illusion yet again. “Next is Dara Morrigan, another of Ceena’s daughters and Captain of the Royal Guard: she was Passion, and a true believer in the Har’tei regime. So much so that she left the Church of the Stars, and Ceena’s dream for her to become a high-ranking church official, to pursue a career closer to the throne. As the High Queen and King could well take care of themselves, the Royal Guard were less protectors and more elite shock troops. But then dissonance hit, Rayla and Aqu abdicated, and Dara became Fury. Her force isn’t nearly as large as Mephistopheles’, but she’s basically got a few dozen crack commandos behind her, who all think she’d be the best next High Queen.”
Dara Morrigan: Level 19
Sex: Female, Morality: Lawbound Vengeful, Race/Class: Elf Warrior.
Sex: Female, Morality: Lawbound Vengeful, Race/Class: Elf Warrior.
Character Features: Furious, Stalwart, Berserker.
Spells: Greater Heal, Shield, Blast, Scrye, Etherblade, Infuriate, Hasten, Ward.
Inventory: Queen's Wrath (warblade), Queen's Honor (rapier), Queen's Embrace (armor)
“Big family,” Phyr says. “You get anything from her, Pannych?”
“Nothing solid,” she says.
“Moving on, then,” Alice says with another Illusion-shifting handwave. “The youngest of Ceena’s daughters is Asha Morrigan, the Influence of Desire. She was the First Mage to High King Aqu, but when they fell, she became Insatiability. Locking herself in the Castle Har’tei library on Moristella, she grew obsessed with forbidden magic - and became a powerful bloodwitch.” Pannych gets almost nothing from this flash, and so says nothing.
Asha Morrigan: Level 17
Sex: Female, Morality: Impartial Evil, Race/Class: Elf Bloodwitch.
Sex: Female, Morality: Impartial Evil, Race/Class: Elf Bloodwitch.
Character Features: Blood Magic, Restless.
Spells: Blood Boil, Sacrifice, Greater Heal, Push, Hold, Puppet, Drain, Hamper, Ward.
Inventory: Duramen (staff)
Phyr says, “Bloodwitch? OK, so she’s a vampire.”
“No,” Alice says, “She’s a bloodwitch. There’s a huge difference.”
“Does she drink blood,” he asks.
Alice says, “I mean, consuming blood is a way for bloodwitches to restore their mana…”
“So she’s a vampire,” Phyr says smugly.
“No she’s not,” Alice insists. “For one thing, she doesn’t have a weakness to sunlight.”
“OK, so she’s a shitty vampire,” Phyr says. “What, does she fuckin’ sparkle, too?”
“She’s not a vampire at all,” Alice says heatedly. “She just uses blood as a power source and focus for her magic.”
“That kinda sounds like a vampire,” Vector says.
“UGH. Moving on!” Alice shuts her eyes and screws up her face for a moment before displaying the next character sheet. “Nathanael Thorn. As Humility, he sought to serve the regime without pursuing publicity or prestige, and became a powerful spellbreaker in the Order of the Hidden Hand. But dissonance turned him into Self-loathing, and after destroying the rest of the Order over the last several months, he now secludes himself in a derelict castle of the Forgotten Wastes.”
“Some ‘powerful spellbreaker’,” Phyr sneers. “He’s the lowest level of any of ‘em.”
“And you’re all lower level than him,” Alice swiftly points out. “Don’t underestimate him. He may be a lower level, but he is highly skilled. His Mana Manipulator feature allows him to cast spells on spells - and he uses it to great effect.”
Vector says, “I really don’t like those ‘Knows How You Think’ and ‘Knows All Your Moves’ features, either. I’ve got a bad feeling about this guy.”
Pannych recovers from another flash - this one hit her particularly hard - and says, “He’s been alone in a wasteland castle for months. I mean, sure, that sounds kinda loser-ish; but he’s been able to survive in a wasteland castle for months. Seems pretty tough to me - I think we ought to be careful.”
“Stars’ names, we are almost done,” Alice says in irritation. “Second to last, we have Lila Sherwood, the Influence of Harmony.”
“I knew it,” Phyr shouts. “I knew one of them had to be about music!”
“Not that kind of harmony,” Alice says. “Harmony with nature. Respect for the wilderness, conservation of the environment, that sort of thing. She served the regime as First Ranger of the Wild Protectorate, basically the EPA. But she corrupted to become Savagery, and returned to the Aguja-Piedra Mountains where she’s from.”
Lila Sherwood: Level 28
Sex: Female, Morality: Wild Evil, Race/Class: Giant Ranger.
Sex: Female, Morality: Wild Evil, Race/Class: Giant Ranger.
Character Features: Giant, Berserker, Natural Intuition, Werewolf.
Spells: Purify, Battlecry, Hasten, Dispel, Ward, Scrye, Transform, Lunacy, Moonbeam.
“Wait,” Pannych says, not having received a flash this time, “So she’s a giant and a werewolf?”
“Yup,” Alice says. “Big, fast, strong, and tough. Last, but definitely not least, is Garv, King of Dragons. As Pride, he rules the Rept Isles, an archipelago on the other side of the world and the only part of it that Rayla and Aqu didn’t conquer. He’s the only one who didn’t serve the regime in any way, and there was kind of a standoff where they didn’t make peace but couldn’t realistically pursue war, so things just kinda sat there. Now that the Broken Throne sits empty, though, it’s only a matter of time until he rallies his dragon hordes as Hubris and tries to conquer the rest of the world.” Again, Pannych does not receive a flash.
Garv, King of Dragons: Level 19
Sex: Male, Morality: Lawbound Despotic, Race/Class: Dragon Warlord.
Sex: Male, Morality: Lawbound Despotic, Race/Class: Dragon Warlord.
Character Features: Dragon, Stalwart, Vox Magno, Perfect Pitch.
Spells: Etherwing, Flame, Chill, Level, Battlecry, Inspire, Dread.
“Hold on,” Vector asks, flipping back a few pages, “How come the Rept Isles aren’t anywhere on the map?”
“They don’t exist right now,” Alice says, dismissing the illusion at last. “The world is incomplete - parts of it are just missing.”
“So you didn’t even make a whole world,” Phyr taunts, “Just most of one.”
“Yeah, that sounds like me,” Pannych says with a shrug.
“Strictly speaking, Pannych didn’t create the world at all,” Alice explains. “She’s just a part of Deirdre that’s playing in it, which is why she’s not all-powerful here. Because that wouldn’t be as interesting. But it looks like Pannych was still given an edge here and there: like a spell that pauses time, or an oversized mana pool.”
Vector says, “Or leaving out an entire nation of dragons until you get the hang of things.”
Alice continues, “Yeah, well, with part of the world missing, part of my life force is missing, so now I’m a zombie until everything’s back in place.”
Pannych says, “But at least that means Garv is out of the picture for the moment, right? I’d hate to get surprise-attacked by a buncha dragons.”
“Sure, great,” Alice says, “But food all tastes like cardboard to me, and I can’t sleep, and food and sleep are like my two favorite things in the world! So I hope you can appreciate that I am not the happiest right now.”
Pannych says, “So how do we fix it? I have a Summon World spell, do I just need enough mana to cast it?”
“Yes,” Alice says, “But you need to be physically out there yourself, since the spell has limited range. As for the mana, it’s gonna take like 14,000, and good luck getting it. The regime’s resources have all been sacked by the Influences, and pretty much everything else has been grabbed by whoever’s closest. Every mana potion production facility has made some kind of black market arrangement with one of them, so you’re gonna be hard-pressed to get your hands on any.”
Pannych says, “We could try Phyr’s mana generator idea? Maybe use a couple of them?”
Vector says, “We might be able to pull a favor with the magic guild here, since we killed that necromancer and got those spellbooks back.”
Phyr says, “What about Vincent’s place? He had black market contacts, we might be able to find an in-road that way.”
Alice says, “Those are all pretty decent ideas, but there’s a lot of maybes in each of them.”
Vector’s shadow says, you could compete in Thorn’s unregistered tournament.
The adventurers draw their weapons and roll for turn order. The shadow raises their hands in surrender as they rise from the ground, eyes aflame, with a blue stone shining in their forehead.
“Who the Hell are you,” Vector asks, shadowless in the half-light of the tavern, rifle trained on his stolen shadow.
i did not come to fight, they say - but the adventurers do not lower their weapons. After a moment of tense staring, they speak once again: i am darkness. i have come only to tell you that you are all invited to compete in Thorn’s tournament at Hope’s End, one month from today. the grand prize is a substantial monetary reward, and a great supply of mana potions. go fight. or drink tea and debate heatedly. or whatever it is you combative philosophical types do.
Before the adventurers can respond, darkness melds back into the floor again, leaving Vector’s shadow as it was. “Wait,” Alice shouts as darkness leaves - but too late. “Oh, stars and gods,” she fumes, “I can’t stand it when these assholes run unregistered tournaments!”
“What are you,” Vector asks as he stows his rifle, “An IRS agent with a tax vendetta?”
“No,” Alice says, pursing her lips and narrowing her eyes. “I’m an environmentalist, and tournament registration helps us keep the world in decent shape!”
“What’s the big deal,” Phyr asks. “It’s just a buncha guys fighting.”
Pannych retorts, “Says the guy who brought Hell down on Earth a few hours ago!”
Alice says, “Exactly! Tournaments attract powerful people fighting for high stakes, and unregistered tournaments are even more destructive! Registering a tournament makes sure the same place doesn’t get hit too hard over and over, and gives us a chance to minimize the damage before it has too much of an impact.”
Phyr says, “Uh, ‘us’ who?”
“The Office of Combat Event Registration! The regime has a time and place for these things!”
Phyr raises an eyebrow and asks, “What regime?” Alice opens her mouth to speak, but freezes, then shuts her mouth and glares silently at him. “Look,” he continues after raising a hand, “I promise not to leave the Earth a barren and scorched wasteland, all right? Wait - Hope’s End is in the Forgotten Wastes? OK, even more of a barren and scorched wasteland.”
“Fine,” Alice says, “But you’re not the only problem child at this play date.”
“Hey,” Vector says, “Are we not gonna talk about the guy who just stole my shadow?!”
Pannych lifts her head and says, “Yeah, Alice, are you able to show us darkness’ character sheet?”
“I, uh - sure?” She concentrates for a moment, then casts Illusion and another sheet appears over the table.
[image forthcoming]
darkness: level 1
Sex: fluid, Morality: lawless holy, Race/Class: human shadow servant.
Sex: fluid, Morality: lawless holy, Race/Class: human shadow servant.
Character Features: pious, quietcasting
Spells: shadowstrike, shadowstride (teleport), shadowsteal, shadowshift (shapeshift), shadowmeld (stealth), shadowbind (hold)
Inventory: Mantle of Shadow, Mask of the Forgotten King, Jewel of Reason
“OK,” Phyr says, “So they’re a servant, they came here with a message. Wait - can you show us anyone’s character sheet? Like, what about Rayla and Aqu?”
“Hey, yeah,” Vector agrees. “It would be useful to know what we’re up against.”
“Oh, why not,” Alice says, moving as though to roll the eyes she does not have, then waving her hands over the illusion to show two more character sheets.
Rayla Har'tei: Level 6
Sex: Female, Morality: Lawbound Good, Race/Class: Elf Fractured Arbiter
Sex: Female, Morality: Lawbound Good, Race/Class: Elf Fractured Arbiter
Character Features: Augmentative Tattoos, Immortal, Precise Combat.
Spells: Summon Familiar (Tish), Summon Famiilar (Libby), Channel Talisman (Thistleheart), Channel Talisman (Dragonhand), Channel Talisman (Third Eye), Shield.
Inventory: Gods' Rest (spear), 12-Slot Bag of Tricks, Cloak of Darkness, Assassin's Armor, Ring of Resilience.
Aqu Abbe'nei: Level 6
Sex: Male, Morality: Impartial Good, Race/Class: Human Faded Pawn.
Sex: Male, Morality: Impartial Good, Race/Class: Human Faded Pawn.
Character Features: Mana Sink, Immortal.
Spells: Greater Heal, Remedy, Greater Fireball, Wall, Hold, Summon Weapon, Counterspell.
Inventory: Soulreaper (scythe), Spell Compendium, Cloak of Darkness, Dragonscale Armor, Ring of Magic.
“What’s this ‘channel talisman’ spell about,” Phyr asks. “Rayla’s got it like three times!”
“Old magic,” Alice says. “When the gods first brought magic to humanity, there were several ways to cast spells. Nowadays, people pretty much only use words of power - that is, casting by saying the name of the spell. Some have managed to hang on to the art of quietcasting, using spells without saying words. But that requires some other mechanism, like a hand signal or something, and it can go off by accident. Words of power require an intention which several other methods don’t, and needing the intention makes them much less likely to misfire - which is why it’s such a popular method.
“Talismans are a little different from both of them, though. Instead of drawing on the caster’s mana pool for the power source, a talisman is the power source, inscribed with a glyph in Old Zyxish.”
“So does it take mana to inscribe the glyph,” Vector asks, “And is that why Rayla’s mana pool is so weirdly low?”
“Yes to the first, no to the second,” Alice says. “Creating a talisman does require mana, but it’s a high one-time cost, not an ongoing thing that needs to be maintained. Rayla’s mana pool is so low because she was born that way: she’s mana-deprived. When she was young - relatively young, anyway - she found someone who still knew the high art of glyphic talismans.”
“So she’s got a bunch of trinkets that let her get around that problem,” Phyr says. “Neat. Can we steal ‘em?”
“Not… really,” Alice dithers. “The glyphs are tattooed on her body: she is the talisman. That’s what her Augmentative Tattoos feature is for, and why she has to put them in her spell slots: it’s the trade-off for them being theft-proof. When she and Aqu got busted down to first level, that’s one of the features she decided to keep.”
Pannych asks, “So does Aqu have a similar thing going on? Is his mana pool at zero because of that Mana Sink thing?”
“Almost,” Alice says, “But you’ve got it backwards: he’s got access to the Mana Sink feature because he was born with no mana pool at all. But because mana is constantly flowing through all things, it still flows through him - it just doesn’t collect in him. Remember the rain barrel metaphor? Well, instead of collecting it into his ‘barrel,’ what he learned to do was tap into the rainfall directly.”
“So can anyone do that, then,” Phyr asks. “Like, could Pannych learn how to do that, and just have all the mana she needs?”
“No,” Alice says, “It doesn’t work like that. Let’s see, how can I put this? Like, if you’re at a rock concert, you’ve got to shout to be heard by people right next to you. But if it’s real quiet, you can hear a whisper - and if it's totally silent, you can hear your own heartbeat. Tapping into the mana flow requires ‘listening to your own heartbeat,’ so to speak. But having a mana pool is like a constant rock concert. Being capable of the one thing means that you can’t do the other.”
“So was this just a freak accident of birth,” Phyr asks.
“No, not really,” Alice says, cradling her forehead in one hand. “But we’re getting off-topic now. Do you have any more questions about the mechanics of this? Like, information you’ll actually be able to use, not just some bit of historical trivia?”
“C’mon,” Phyr pleads. “We have so much backstory on Rayla, but almost nothing on Aqu! Throw me a bone, here - he’s the other main character based on me, right?”
“All right, fine,” Alice concedes. “The Abbe’nei clan eschewed the use of magic, in all its forms. It’s what the clan name means, in Old Zyxish: ‘no to abbe,’ rejection of performing magic. They believed that since magic was of the gods, it was thereby for the gods alone, not for humanity. Their philosophy - almost a religion, honestly - was that mana is a poison. The weird thing is, they weren’t exactly wrong.”
The adventurers give her a puzzled look, and Alice continues: “Look, if you use your mana, there’s no problem - it flows through you, and keeps flowing. But think about the rain barrel again: if you leave the barrel full, just sitting there and stagnating, it becomes brackish and eventually poisonous. Your mana pool works similarly: if you don’t use mana from time to time, then it becomes toxic. And the more mana you have, the quicker that toxicity builds up if it goes unused.
“Now, there are a few hereditary traits that can change how much mana a person has. Some people are born mana-deprived, though that’s rare - it’s a strong disadvantage, and everyone has a use for spells of some sort. But other people are born mana-enriched; and if they have a really large mana pool, then they can go toxic before they’re even able to use it - and they die as children.
“The Abbe’nei clan saw that, and decided that if people kept using mana all the time, it would create an extinction event where too many people were born with too much mana. The solution, as they saw it, was abstinence - but by letting their mana pools stagnate, they still made themselves vulnerable to mana toxicity. Eventually, mana-deprivation became the norm in their clan, because those who didn't have it would usually die before having kids. Then when Aqu was born, there was a disturbance in the flow - all the mystics could see that something was continuously draining the flow of mana, but without producing any abbe or ether. It wasn’t too difficult to infer what was going on, but this created a new kind of problem.
“All sorts of powerful people wanted to find Aqu and use him as a weapon. They started out with polite requests, but the Abbe’nei chieftain declined - lavish offers soon followed, but were again rebuffed - then they escalated to violent threats. But Aqu was the chief’s only son, and his mother died in childbirth, so the chief wouldn’t give him up for anything.
“Eventually, the Abbe’nei village was attacked and destroyed by a dragon - the villagers were almost all mighty warriors, but it’s hard to fight a dragon without magic - and Aqu was the only survivor. Rayla found him in the woods, a scared kid all alone. She’s got a soft spot for kids who are being used as pawns in other people’s games, which I’m sure you understand.”
Alice gives Pannych a meaningful look, and she nods in response before saying, “Yeah, I hated when my mother would parade us around in public. She was only ever nice to me when there were other people to watch the show. Otherwise, my little brother was The Good One and I was The Bad One. Which I obviously also hated, because it was still treating me as a thing for her, not letting me just be me. Ugh.”
“Right,” Alice says. “So Rayla took young Aqu under her wing, and taught him the ancient arts she had learned. But she wanted him to be free to choose his own purpose - and Aqu eventually sided with her for just that reason, since everyone else only wanted to use him.”
“So is that how you see me,” Phyr asks, turning to Pannych with a hurt look on his face. “As some kid to be pitied and taken under your wing?”
“What? No,” Pannych protests, looking almost insulted. “I see you as a kindred spirit, someone who dealt with similar issues as me but in different specifics. I mean, I tried to be a force for good in your life - but I try to be a force for good all the time, man. It’s how I rebel against my mother: she drives everyone away from her eventually, because she’s a terrible person, and my greatest fear is becoming her. So I try to be as good as I can, 'cuz I don't want to be like that when I grow up. It’s not about condescending to you, it’s about being unlike her.”
Phyr regards her skeptically for a moment, and says, “Sure, but you do get on your high horse from time to time. Like with the ACT - I said I got a 31, and you were all Little Miss Thirty-Five. ‘Ooh, look at me, I only missed four questions!’ That drove the rest of us nuts.”
“What,” Pannych says, affronted. “You guys asked how I did. I told you the truth. Should I have lied?”
Phyr says, “No, don’t lie - you just gotta downplay it a little.”
“So don’t tell the truth, for other people’s sake? Because they can’t handle it? That sounds condescending to me.”
“It’s only condescending if you say that,” Vector cuts in. “People do this sort of thing all the time, and they shut up about it. It’s a basic social norm, really. Talking about your achievements sounds arrogant, if you achieve lots more than most other people - so to look humble, you downplay it.”
“What?” Pannych is baffled. “But I am humble! I don’t attach any meaning to bullshit standardized tests, they only measure how you do on that test, and leave out whole areas of knowledge that are just harder to quantify! I don’t care about my score, but you’re telling me that other people do, to the point of being offended when they ask me how I did and I tell them? What the fuck kinda Catch 22 bullshit is that?!”
“It’s not enough to be humble, you have to look humble, too,” Vector says. “Listen: you and I both know you don’t attach meaning or personal worth to a test score. But lots of other people do, and you have to take them into account.”
“Also,” Phyr adds, “Seeing a test score as ‘just a number’ and knowing how invalid it is? That’s a pretty advanced perspective that most people don’t get in high school - you can’t expect other teenagers to see it that way. To the rest of us, it looked like you had all this ability and didn’t even care. We grew up being told that this stuff really matters, and we all have to be trained out of it - while you already know it’s bullshit, but you have to be trained into what the rest of us already know. Like Vector said, it’s a basic social norm.”
Pannych folds her arms and pouts. “Well, I didn’t get a lot of ‘basic social norms’ as a kid, I grew up moving around and didn’t have any long-term friends before you came along. And people excluded me a bunch for being the new kid, so I’m sorry if I don’t know your Secret Club Rules. Y’know, it really sounds like you guys are saying I need to take everyone else into account, but nobody ever needs to take me into account. Isn’t respect a two-way street? Shouldn’t this be a mutual effort? Like, when is it someone else’s job to realize that I never learned those rules, so maybe you can just take what I say at face value without attaching Extra Secret Meaning to it?”
“I mean,” Phyr says, “That’s kinda just how it works.”
Pannych stands up so fast she knocks over her chair, and storms off.
“Pannych, wait,” Vector calls after her. She bristles with her back to them, but stops. “What Phyr’s trying to say is that it sucks, and it’s not fair, and it puts a lot on you - but you can’t change it. You say all the time in your twenties that you’re backwards from a lot of people - so backwards that you can’t really be understood by most others, so you have to do some extra work to find common ground.”
“But - being understood…” Pannych trails off for a moment, hanging her head with her back still turned to them, then continues: “That’s what I want more than anything. I was raised on Happily Ever After stories, and people told me more Happily Ever Afters during all the… stuff. They kept saying, over and over, ‘Just get through this,’ ‘Soon it’ll all be over,’ ‘Things will be so much easier once you’re past this,’ but it’s never over, the bullshit never ends, and things never got easier. I’m always misunderstood, and people always act like it’s my fault for being this way, like I chose it or something.” She sniffs once.
“They were talking about your mother,” Phyr says. “Once you got away from her, your life did get easier - you didn’t have her in the way, her bullshit did stop, you even had a hand in putting a stop to it. I know that was only three years ago for you now, but it’s been twenty years outside. She made it impossible for you to deal with normal life - but now it is easier for you to do normal life things.”
“But this is exactly what I’m talking about,” Pannych says, turning around to face them again. “I know how to handle my mother. That’s what I’m used to. And moving around so much, nothing else really mattered - every year, my life got a reset, and I was in a new school, new town, new people, and everyone knew I was starting over. Those ‘normal life things’ weren’t difficult for me to do - I didn’t have to do them at all.
“Then all of a sudden, Dad’s got custody, everything stops changing all at once, and everyone expects me to just act like everyone else, like things had just been stable the whole time and I was just waiting to get ‘back to normal.’ But the chaos was normal, for me. Everyone else sees it as some ‘dark time’ in my life, something to come back from - but that was all I knew, and there was nothing to come back to. Now I have to deal with a whole other set of things that I’m completely unprepared for, and nobody seems to want to take the time to teach me - they see gifted kids at one end of a spectrum, and problem kids at the other, and the idea that I could be a gifted kid and a problem kid is like a contradiction to them. But I adapted to chaos, I have no coping mechanisms for stability.”
Vector says, “Yeah, most people don’t need to cope with stability.”
Pannych throws up her hands and says, “Exactly! Sure, hard things for you might be easy to me, but easy things to you are damn near impossible to me! And those are the everyday things that people take for granted! Like it’s somehow my fault I had gaps in my curriculum from going to six different schools in six years!”
Phyr says, “Look, I know this doesn’t help you now, but that gets better. Like, the way schools treat problem kids gets better. And you’re part of that change, now that you got your shit sorted - everywhere you go, you’re like the Troubled Kid Whisperer. You understand those kids in a way that almost no other teacher can, and you help them define a new normal instead of expecting them to go ‘back to’ a normal they never knew.”
Pannych looks at him strangely. “Really? I’m a teacher? How the Hell did that happen?”
“I mean,” Phyr stammers, “You spend your twenties in therapy first…”
“Man, fuck therapy,” she spits. “Those fuckers never let me actually talk about my problems, they just talk about ‘letting go’ and ‘moving on’ - like, to what, motherfucker?!”
“Yeah, well, that gets better, too,” Phyr says. “I mean, you find a good one. So there’s that.”
Alice had quietly walked away during the tangent to check in with Derek, and she returns to find them winding down. As she takes her seat, she says, “Right, so the last thing I remember was something about kindred spirits, and that’s how Rayla and Aqu were - she also had no clan as a kid, yadda yadda. And she picked up a bunch of tricks to make up for her deficiency, and those tricks were even more powerful in Aqu’s hands.”
Vector says, “So you’ve got a lady with almost no magical power, but lots of knowledge and skill, mentoring a kid with potentially limitless power - yeah, I can see how they’d take over the world.”
“Oh, yeah,” Alice says. “They teamed up and overthrew the shit-sacks in charge, and when they saw that more would always rise to take their place, they realized they couldn’t just ‘set the world free’ - after all, real freedom is freedom to be good or bad. Instead, they had to rule it well, and put down anyone who got too big for their britches. But look, are there any other questions about, like, spells and stuff?”
“Most of this is pretty self-explanatory,” Phyr says. “Like, Dara has the Furious feature - that means she’s got some other mechanism for her mana pool, right?”
“Right,” Alice confirms.
“So, like, unless there’s an encyclopedia or something we can take with us…” he trails off.
“Hold that thought,” Alice says, leaving the table and returning a minute later with a hardbound book she hands over to Phyr. ”Here, you can have On the Nature of Humanity, and Its Various Features and Foibles. Famous physician wrote it, I don’t really need it, and she’ll see it’s taken good care of,” she says with a nod to Pannych. Phyr takes it with an appraising look, thumbs through a few pages, and gives a nod of approval. “All right,” she continues, “Anything else before we get to your road trip?”
The adventurers look at each other, shrug, and shake their heads No.
Alice brings a map back up and says, “OK, we’re here on Noob Isle - and Hope’s End is here, in the badlands between the Forgotten Wastes and the Aguja-Piedra Mountains. It’s like halfway across the Har’tei Dominion - man, I guess I’m gonna have to stop calling it that - but you have a month to get there, so that’s fine.” As she speaks, the destination and a route appear upon the map. “Your best bet is probably to hit up Salinas - it’s a coastal town at the very edge of the scrub plains between Eversummer and the Wastes. You can probably hire a guide pretty easily, and I’m sure you can find things to do if you’re short of cash. As for getting there, there are regular boats from Leetsburg Harbor.”
“Hang on,” Phyr says, “Do we get to take this map with us?”
“Uh, no?” Alice regards him with confusion. “It’s a spell I’m casting to show you a path forward, it’s not a physical object I can give to you for your journey.”
“Wait,” Vector interjects, “Are you not coming with us, Alice?”
“No, I have to stay here and make sure this peace agreement is carried out properly.”
“Do they stand a serious chance of screwing it up,” Pannych asks.
“Not the noobs,” Alice says, “But I don’t trust these humans as far as I can throw ‘em. Leetsburg and Noob Town were founded by colonists looking to escape a benevolent dictatorship - not because they wanted a pluralistic and inclusive republic, but because they wanted a shot at being top dog and a turn at lording it over everyone else. You don’t just trust these fuckers to keep their end of an agreement, if they can benefit from breaking it.”
“Foof,” Phyr says, “Tell us how you really feel. Anyway, I ask because if we’re gonna travel halfway across the known world, I feel like we should probably take a map.”
“Do we really need one, though,” Vector asks. “Isn’t this Pannych’s mind? Shouldn’t she know her way around?”
“I don’t think you understand how often I get lost in my own head,” Pannych says. “Phyr’s right - where can we get a map? And a compass, too. Probably a watch, while we’re at it - oh, and a notepad to-”
“Hey!” Pannych is cut short as Phyr shouts over her. She blinks a couple times, and he points at himself and says, “Remember? Technomancer? I’ll just make us a Skyrim© map.”
“A what,” Pannych asks.
Vector does a double-take and says, “Wait, how have you never heard of-”
“Right,” Phyr interrupts him. “The mind wipe. That’s why we’re in seventeen-year-old bodies? Look, that’s not important now - Determine Belt Item!” He pulls a neatly folded bundle of thin cloth from his belt and unfolds it over the table. “Aww yeah, look at that,” he says proudly. “Location, color-coding, direction, date, time…” He moves his hands over the map and continues, “It can zoom, mark locations, there’s a quest log - this baby is good to go! Alice, can you mark Salinas and Hope’s End on here for us?” She shrugs and does so.
“Chow,” Derek announces, wheeling over a cart with dinner and drinks.
After dinner, the adventurers put their clothes in the laundromagic, then shower and head to bed early.
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