Thursday, July 19, 2012

More Fake Religion: Much ado about Nothing

I believe in Nothing.  I believe in other things, too - a whole load of 'em, in fact.  But Nothing is at the very center of my worldview.  Nothing is the most important thing in my life, without exception.  Nothing is more important to me than all life on Earth, and all the cosmos besides.

I worship Nothing.  I pray to Nothing.  I came from Nothing, ultimately, and when I die I shall go to Nothing.  Even the Bible says, "In the beginning, there was Nothing."  All that exists came from Nothing:  either the Universe sprang forth, full-formed, from Nothing; or a deity created it, and that deity came from Nothing.  Either way, Nothing is ultimately responsible for all of the everything that we see all around us today.

Even if there is a deity who created everything we see today, Nothing is older than it.  Nothing is stronger than it.  Nothing is morally better than it.  Nothing is more worthy of worship, thanks, and praise.

The best part?  Refuting the central tenets of my new religion requires positing a something that would obviate any other religion, too.  I win, either way!

I'm going to go contemplate Nothing for a while now.  Toodles!  (I thought I'd have more to say on this... but it turns out, it's actually hard to ramble on about nothing...)

2 comments:

Steve Bowen said...

I have nothing to say about this

Marvin said...

That's a great religion. So easy to understand and to memorize. Basics and arcane knowledge are the same. And note how much paper is saved. Should be much much cheaper for the Church of Nothing to print The Holy Sheet and spread its words, dropping it in letter boxes all over the world. Happy Nothing Day everyone!