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Thusly, Phyr and Vector are seated around a driftwood campfire in a small cove on the West coast of Moristella, well out of sight from Castle Har’tei or any of the surrounding villages.
“So I figured that I oughtta play it straight, since that’s how Pan would’ve wanted it, but man, I’ve never been so bored chewing a guy out! But he put me through to Shay, and things went OK after that, I just really wanted to skip the whole thing.” As Phyr finishes speaking, he puts another log on the campfire and stokes it with a long, wet stick, releasing a flurry of embers that swirl up into the clear night sky.
“She’d be proud,” Vector says with a thoughtful nod, staring into the flames. “So,” he says after a long moment, “What’s next? You gonna fly around, raining death from above on all & sundry until the Influences are toast?”
“No,” Phyr says, shaking his head. “Alice said they didn’t have to be killed, specifically.” He purses his lips and narrows his gaze. “And I think I have a plan for that.”
Vector waits politely for a moment, then says, “Are you gonna keep me in suspense?”
“Sorry. I was thinking, while I was flying around - I killed Thorn, but I don’t really feel any better. Pannych’s still dead, we’re still here, what the fuck. So instead of killing the rest, what if we destroy them - they each have some basis of power, right? Like, what’s-his-dick, the Greed Guy-”
“Edric Nadab.”
“Yeah, him. He’s in charge of the treasury and a business empire or something, right? If we can take all that out from under him, remove his power base, that’ll more or less take him out of action, won’t it?”
“Seems worth a try. Have you ever tried to take down a political-corporate conglomerate before, though?”
“No,” Phyr admits, “But the others all seem to be even tougher. Warlock Wanker-”
“You mean Aashif Mephistopheles?”
“Whatever. He’s got a literal army, and with how things went at the castle, I don’t wanna bite off more than we can chew. Dragon Dude-”
“Garv. His name is Garv.”
“Whatever. His whole island thing doesn’t technically exist, and I don’t think you can shuffle your stats enough to bring ‘em into being, if you even can swap your spells out for Pannych’s world-editing powers. And even if you could, I don’t really wanna take on a shit-pile of dragons.”
“Agreed,” Vector says with a nod. “And Ceena has a corps of religious zealots at her back, that seems dangerous.”
“Yeah, and her daughters have either a squad of crack commandos, or highly forbidden magic, or… who was the other one?”
“I think… Dara? No, she’s Fury - I remember because R is the third letter in both.” Vector thinks for a moment, then says, “Runa! That’s it. She’s the thief.”
“Right. She’s super sly, I bet. And I’m great at master plans, but I don’t know if I wanna go up against the full force of Dee’s paranoia incarnate.”
“No, that’s smart. But what about Lila? The werewolf?”
“You mean the giant werewolf who lives right in the mountains where Pan died and is still higher level than me? No, I don’t think so.”
“Good point,” Vector concedes. “No, you’re right, Nadab is probably our best bet. We’ll just have to make sure we play it slow, don’t overextend ourselves.”
“Exactly. That’s why we’re headed back to Noob Isle.”
“Figure we’ll go ask Alice?”
“Right-o,” Phyr says with a decisive nod.
They finish the dinner they packed from their supplies, then Vector opens his sleeping bag all the way and spreads it over the gray-white sand while Phyr douses the campfire. Vector wraps his cloak around himself, and Phyr takes off his trench coat to use it as a blanket, and they fall into a restful sleep.
They wake shortly after first light and pack up, then Phyr flies them the rest of the way to Noob Isle. He is careful to approach from the West, remembering the massive guns of Leetsburg and not wanting to bet on whether they’re the “shoot first and ask questions later” type. He swoops down low over the trees when he sees Noob Town in the distance, then drops into the forest about a hundred yards shy of the clear-cut area ringing the town.
As the adventurers walk out of the forest and along the road, they see hundreds of young, thin trees growing amid the low-cut trunks in the late afternoon sun. Each of them is over a dozen feet high, but only perhaps ten to fourteen inches thick. Here and there, noobs and humans tend to the new growth with shovels and bags of noob dung. Phyr draws some stares, but after recognizing Vector, everyone seems to put two & two together. They walk through the town gate, now standing wide open. Two guards still stand at either side, but their posture is relaxed and they are casually talking as the adventurers approach, poleaxes stood against the gatehouse wall behind them. The guards stop talking and straighten up once Phyr and Vector are nearly within earshot, and their stern looks soon give way to a mixture of confusion and wariness as the two walk past.
Once in the town proper, things seem more or less normal. The day’s business is in a frantic last gasp of activity before the sunset wind-down, and most people seem not to notice the returned adventurers as they make their way to the Loaded Die. Inside, the tavern is abuzz with activity, but Vector half-recognizes Charlotte at the host stand and only needs to briefly glance at her name tag. “Hey there, Charlotte,” he says affably. “Boss in?”
“Yes,” she says brightly, “Head on back, gentlemen.”
They head back to the kitchen, dodging staff as they go. “The Hell are you doing here,” Alice asks as they step into her office, Vector shutting the door behind them.
“And a fine hello to you, too,” Phyr says as he drops heavily into one of the two chairs facing her cluttered desk.
“No, I - sorry.” She takes a deep breath to re-compose herself, and says, “I just didn’t expect you two to stick around, is all.”
“How do you mean,” Vector asks.
“Well… with Pannych gone, I guess I figured you’d take the easy way out.”
“But we can’t make an exit portal without her,” Phyr says.
“Right,” Alice says slowly, “But you don’t need that to leave.” They look at her in confusion. “You’re from outside, so if you die, you just go back.” Now they look at each other in confusion.
“But Dee’s our friend,” Vector says, turning back to Alice. “Whatever’s going on here, it’s clearly still weighing on her mind.”
“Yeah,” Phyr agrees, “We’re in it for the long haul.” Alice inclines her head, reappraising them. Then Phyr narrows his eyes and says, “Wait a sec - how did you know Pannych was dead?”
“I could sense her life force,” Alice says, gesturing vaguely up at her missing eyes. “Mystic, remember? And someone still went and blew a hole in a mountain after promising not to leave the Earth a barren, scorched wasteland.”
“Well, I’m sorry I hurt your precious rocks in my grief after watching my best friend die,” he says venomously.
Alice takes another deep breath and says, “No, you’re right. Expecting restraint from you is like expecting… look, we’re losing focus. You did fine, all things considered. What are you here for?”
Phyr fills her in on the plan to undermine Nadab’s empire, and she nods along thoughtfully. “That’s actually a sound plan,” she says approvingly when he’s finished. “But that brings me back to my first question: why are you here? What do you need me for?”
Phyr looks to Vector for help, and he says, “Well, Phyr’s got the broad strokes. We need details, though. We were hoping you could connect some dots for us.”
Alice narrows her eye sockets at him and purses her lips. Phyr withers a little under her unseeing gaze, and tries to give her his best innocent smile. After a beat, Alice lets out a sigh that grows into a groan, and says, “All right. Shoot.”
Phyr lets out the breath he had been holding and says, “The five Ws would be a good start. We have the Who of, well, him, but we don’t know anyone else in his operation. And we know the Why, he’s trying to take over the world with money. But where are they based? When did he get started? What’s his MO? You gave us a quick overview, but not enough to go on. And no offense, but you even warned us specifically not to underestimate Thorn, and we all saw how that went.”
“I actually didn’t,” Alice says, her demeanor considerably softened. She clears some space on her desk and leans her elbows on the blotter, steepling her fingers. “All I ‘saw’ was that Pannych’s life force disappeared, and then so did Thorn’s, right when yours lit up like a bonfire and a big hole was punched in the world. And then you ran around from Hell to breakfast while a bunch of little lives - kids, I’m guessing - trekked across the desert. What was that all about?”
“Oh,” Phyr says. “We got attacked by bandits on the way to Hope’s End, and we found their camp, but there were a bunch of kids there. So Pannych made sure our guide was on board with putting them up in Salinas, and I just followed through on that.”
Alice raises an eyebrow and asks, “How’d you convince the Salinas elders to take in a bunch of hungry mouths? They’re in dire straits as it is.”
“We killed a necromancer in their midst, then Phyr gave their infrastructure a shot in the arm while Pan and I rode along on a few bandit raids,” Vector says matter-of-factly. “That gave us a well of goodwill to draw from, and one of the elderly bandits agreed to give up Kleptopoliton if Salinas would take them in and pardon their crimes. So we got them back safely, after Phyr flew back and arranged for a caravan of buggies to ride out to meet them, and we saw off their expedition.”
Alice’s jaw drops. “You… brokered a refugee placement, scored the location of the city of thieves, and left the town to loot it themselves? After Pannych died?”
“It… seemed like the right thing to do,” Phyr says, unsure whether to feel praised or insulted. “And we’ve got bigger fish to fry, anyhow. Right?”
“No, that’s - that’s right.” Alice shakes off the shock, and says, “OK. I’m on board.” She stands, takes a deep breath, and looks around her office for a moment before she starts stowing things. “I’ll need a day to make arrangements, but I’m coming with you. Rayla and Aqu maintained detailed dossiers on the Influences, but they took those with when we headed for Noob Valley. I can’t remember them perfectly, but I didn’t forget everything, either. Point being, I’ll be more help at your side than giving you half-remembered bullet points. And you two seem to have really gotten your heads screwed on straight, so I feel confident that I can leave things here. It’s only been a month and change, but people are already feeling the difference, and there’s no way the powers that be can go back on this progress without provoking a popular uprising.” She finishes frantically squaring things away, and then heads for the office door. “You guys can do what you like tomorrow, and we’ll head out the morning after. But put your clothes in the laundromagic and shower up before you bed down - you guys reek.”
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