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The shadow raises their hands in surrender as they rise from the ground, eyes aflame, with a blue stone shining in their forehead.
“Who the Hell are you,” Vector asks, shadowless in the half-light of the tavern, rifle trained on his stolen shadow.
i did not come to fight, they say - but the adventurers do not lower their weapons. After a moment of tense staring, they speak once again: i am darkness. i have come only to tell you that you are all invited to compete in Thorn’s tournament at Hope’s End, one month from today. the grand prize is a substantial monetary reward, and a great supply of mana potions. go fight. or drink tea and debate heatedly. or whatever it is you combative philosophical types do.
Before the adventurers can respond, darkness melds back into the floor again, leaving Vector’s shadow as it was. “Wait,” Alice shouts as darkness leaves - but too late. “Oh, stars and gods,” she fumes, “I can’t stand it when these assholes run unregistered tournaments!”
“What are you,” Vector asks as he stows his rifle, “An IRS agent with a tax vendetta?”
“No,” Alice says, pursing her lips and narrowing her eyes. “I’m an environmentalist, and tournament registration helps us keep the world in decent shape!”
“What’s the big deal,” Phyr asks. “It’s just a buncha guys fighting.”
Pannych retorts, “Says the guy who-”
If you checked “BEAR BATTLER” on the last page, then Pannych says, “-blew up a fortress with a first-level spell!”
If you checked “OFFENDER OF THE GODS,” then Pannych says, “-brought Hell down on Earth a few hours ago!”
If you checked BOTH OF THESE, then Pannych says, “-blew up a fortress with a first-level spell and brought Hell down on Earth a few hours ago!”
If you checked NEITHER OF THESE, then Pannych says, “-started a forest fire with his starting weapon!”
Pannych flinches as she speaks, but the others do not notice. Alice says, “Exactly! Tournaments attract powerful people fighting for high stakes, and unregistered tournaments are even more destructive! Registering a tournament makes sure the same place doesn’t get hit too hard over and over, and gives us a chance to minimize the damage before it has too much of an impact.”
Phyr says, “Uh, ‘us’ who?”
“The Office of Combat Event Registration! The regime has a time and place for these things!”
Phyr raises an eyebrow and asks, “What regime?” Alice opens her mouth to speak, but freezes, then shuts her mouth and glares silently at him. “Look,” he continues after raising a hand, “I promise not to leave the Earth a barren and scorched wasteland, all right? Wait - Hope’s End is in the Forgotten Wastes? OK, even more of a barren and scorched wasteland.”
“Fine,” Alice says, “But you’re not the only problem child at this play date.”
“Hey,” Vector says, “Are we not gonna talk about the guy who just stole my shadow?!”
Pannych lifts her head and says, “Yeah, Alice, are you able to show us darkness’ character sheet?”
“I, uh - sure?” She concentrates for a moment, then casts Illusion and another sheet appears over the table.
[image forthcoming]
darkness: level 1 lawless holy fluid human shadow servant.
Character Features: pious, quietcasting
Spells: shadowstrike, shadowstride (teleport), shadowsteal, shadowshift (shapeshift), shadowmeld (stealth), shadowbind (hold)
Inventory: Mantle of Shadow, Mask of the Forgotten King, Jewel of Reason
“OK,” Phyr says, “So they’re a servant, they came here with a message. Wait - can you show us anyone’s character sheet? Like, what about Rayla and Aqu?”
“Hey, yeah,” Vector agrees. “It would be useful to know what we’re up against.”
“Oh, why not,” Alice says, moving as though to roll the eyes she does not have, then waving her hands over the illusion to show two more character sheets.
Rayla Har'tei: Level 6 Lawbound Good Elf Fractured Arbiter
Character Features: Augmentative Tattoos, Immortal, Precise Combat.
Spells: Summon Familiar (Tish), Summon Famiilar (Libby), Channel Talisman (Thistleheart), Channel Talisman (Dragonhand), Channel Talisman (Third Eye), Shield.
Inventory: Wicked Spear, 12-Slot Bag of Tricks, Cloak of Darkness, Assassin's Armor, Ring of Resilience.
Aqu Abbe'nei: Level 6 Impartial Good Human Faded Pawn.
Character Features: Mana Sink, Immortal.
Spells: Greater Heal, Remedy, Greater Fireball, Wall, Hold, Summon Weapon, Counterspell.
Inventory: Soulreaper, Spell Compendium, Cloak of Darkness, Dragonscale Armor, Ring of Magic.
The adventurers study the new character sheets with interest for several minutes, annoying Alice with further questions. Eventually, she steers them back to the problem at hand: the upcoming tournament.
If you’re thinking, “WAIT A SECOND - I have questions, too!” then you can click here to read for yourself what they talk about.
If you’re thinking, “God, THIS CHAPTER IS INFO-DUMPY ENOUGH ALREADY,” then just keep reading. You won’t be missing much - it’s mostly backstory the characters would plausibly ask for, but doesn’t affect the plot in this book.
Alice brings a map back up and says, “OK, we’re here on Noob Isle - and Hope’s End is here, in the badlands between the Forgotten Wastes and the Aguja-Piedra Mountains. It’s like halfway across the Har’tei Dominion - man, I guess I’m gonna have to stop calling it that - but you have a month to get there, so that’s fine.” As she speaks, the destination and a route appear upon the map. “Your best bet is probably to hit up Salinas - it’s a coastal town at the very edge of the scrub plains between Eversummer and the Wastes. You can probably hire a guide pretty easily, and I’m sure you can find things to do if you’re short of cash. As for getting there, there are regular boats from Leetsburg Harbor.”
“Hang on,” Phyr says, “Do we get to take this map with us?”
“Uh, no?” Alice regards him with confusion. “It’s a spell I’m casting to show you a path forward, it’s not a physical object I can give to you for your journey.”
“Wait,” Vector interjects, “Are you not coming with us, Alice?”
“No, I have to stay here and make sure this peace agreement is carried out properly.”
“Do they stand a serious chance of screwing it up,” Pannych asks.
“Not the noobs,” Alice says, “But I don’t trust these humans as far as I can throw ‘em. Leetsburg and Noob Town were founded by colonists looking to escape a benevolent dictatorship - not because they wanted a pluralistic and inclusive republic, but because they wanted a shot at being top dog and a turn at lording it over everyone else. You don’t just trust these fuckers to keep their end of an agreement, if they can benefit from breaking it.”
“Foof,” Phyr says, “Tell us how you really feel. Anyway, I ask because if we’re gonna travel halfway across the known world, I feel like we should probably take a map.”
“Do we really need one, though,” Vector asks. “Isn’t this Pannych’s mind? Shouldn’t she know her way around?”
“I don’t think you understand how often I get lost in my own head,” Pannych says. “Phyr’s right - where can we get a map? And a compass, too. Probably a watch, while we’re at it - oh, and a notepad to-”
“Hey!” Pannych is cut short as Phyr shouts over her. She blinks a couple times, and he points at himself and says, “Remember? Technomancer? I’ll just make us a Skyrim© map.”
“A what,” Pannych asks.
Vector does a double-take and says, “Wait, how have you never heard of-”
“Right,” Phyr interrupts him. “The mind wipe. That’s why we’re in seventeen-year-old bodies? Look, that’s not important now - Determine Belt Item!” He pulls a neatly folded bundle of thin cloth from his belt and unfolds it over the table. “Aww yeah, look at that,” he says proudly. “Location, color-coding, direction, date, time…” He moves his hands over the map and continues, “It can zoom, mark locations, there’s a quest log - this baby is good to go! Alice, can you mark Salinas and Hope’s End on here for us?” She shrugs and does so.
“Chow,” Derek announces, wheeling over a cart with dinner and drinks.
After dinner, the adventurers put their clothes in the laundromagic, then shower and head to bed early.
To CONTINUE TO CHAPTER 11, click here.
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