"A Tale of Fire and Panic" - Chapter 3: Noob Valley

If you are new to Project:  Spiral, then click here to read the teaser, or click here to read from the Prologue.  Otherwise, welcome back!

Content Warning!

This story contains instances, descriptions, and frank discussions of:  depression, personality disorders, and other mental health issues; suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts; child abuse and neglect; graphic violence, war crimes, and institutional/systemic violence; gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, and transphobia.  Reader discretion is advised.

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"Project: Spiral" - Art Update #14

Made some good progress on Tom the Prophet's cabin!

OK, that's all for now.  Just happy to get this in on the actual day it's supposed to be.  Cheers!

"Stories About My Life," part 2: My College Arrest

While P:S is in editing mode, I thought I'd write up a few stories about my life.  These are things that I have wanted to talk about, but haven't really been able to because P:S is written mostly from the perspective of my seventeen-year-old self.

Today's story is from a time in my life when I behaved very differently to the police than I do now.  In short:  my mother would call the cops frivolously and frequently while our lives were unraveling; accordingly, my five-to-twelve-year-old experience was that cops came running at her beck and call, wouldn't point out her Obvious Bullshit, did nothing to fix the problem, and left after telling my parents to sort out their own issues (which they clearly could not do).  Point being:  I no longer treat the police like I do in this story, though I had well-established (if personal and improbable) reasons for doing so.

"A Tale of Fire and Panic" - Chapter 2: Fite Nite

If you are new to Project:  Spiral, then click here to read the teaser, or click here to read from the Prologue.  Otherwise, welcome back!

Content Warning!

This story contains instances, descriptions, and frank discussions of:  depression, personality disorders, and other mental health issues; suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts; child abuse and neglect; graphic violence, war crimes, and institutional/systemic violence; gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, and transphobia.  Reader discretion is advised.

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"Project: Spiral" - Art Update #13.5

I completely forgot that yesterday was Thursday!  Nothing bad happened, just a busy week.  Here's the sketch of HellPhyr, finally complete with ENERGY LEGS!  (Any Picnicface fans here?  Anyone?  Bueller?)

I'm actually not too happy with how the energy stuff came out, but I need to A. be done with this, and B. do other arts; and this has been kinda holding me back.  Hopefully, I'll figure out what I did to make other magicalnesses look so good decent, and do that again.  My modus operandi is mostly "fuck with it until it looks right," and that time-honored technique is suddenly failing me... sad face.  Wish me luck!

"Stories About My Life," part 1: Ninja Training

While P:S is in editing mode (I wanna make a cocoon/chrysalis pun, but nothing's coming to mind right now), I thought I'd write up a few stories about my life.  These are things that I have wanted to talk about, but haven't really been able to because P:S is written mostly from the perspective of my seventeen-year-old self.  On top of that, I was very mindful of getting doxxed-and-outed before I came out, so I was pretty tight-lipped about my personal life; but I don't need to do that any more, so hooray!

Today's story is one I need to tell as background for some other stories.  I workshopped this one in a storytelling course I took in grad school with a professional storyteller.  He is also an iaido instructor, so with my own martial arts background, we had a lot of fun chats after class.  I keep this story in my back pocket for any time I need to fill ten minutes or want to dangle an incentive in front of some students/patrons.  I'll just say up front that these are all true stories, and obviously certain parts work better when I can demonstrate in person, use tone of voice, and make illustrative gestures.  Anyway:  Enjoy!

"A Tale of Fire and Panic" - Chapter 1: Destined Heroes

If you are new to Project:  Spiral, then click here to read the teaser, or click here to read from the Prologue.  Otherwise, welcome back!

Content Warning!

This story contains instances, descriptions, and frank discussions of:  depression, personality disorders, and other mental health issues; suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts; child abuse and neglect; graphic violence, war crimes, and institutional/systemic violence; gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, and transphobia.  Reader discretion is advised.

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"A Tale of Fire and Panic": Prologue

If you are new to Project:  Spiral, then click here to read the teaser, or click here to read from the Prologue.  Otherwise, welcome back!

Content Warning!

This story contains instances, descriptions, and frank discussions of:  depression, personality disorders, and other mental health issues; suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts; child abuse and neglect; graphic violence, war crimes, and institutional/systemic violence; gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, and transphobia.  Reader discretion is advised.

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"A Tale of Fire and Panic" - Teaser

Content Warning!

This story contains instances, descriptions, and frank discussions of:  depression, personality disorders, and other mental health issues; suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts; child abuse and neglect; graphic violence, war crimes, and institutional/systemic violence; gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, and transphobia.  Reader discretion is advised.

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"Project: Spiral" - Housekeeping

Hey, y'all!  I did a Twitter poll, and the short version is that I'm taking out the forks, mainlining (or cutting) the tangents, and making Project:  Spiral into a single coherent narrative.  In keeping with said Twitter feedback (tweetback?), I'll be posting entire chapters once a week, on the following schedule:

• Weekends are for full-chapter updates.  I'm now editing chapter 4, and I plan on keeping ahead so that I can be reliable on this.
• Tuesdays are for "regular blog" posts.  I have a half-dozen stories about my life written up as of this writing, and they're scheduled and everything!  I will also use Tuesdays for occasional timely commentary, 101 Interesting Things, Transgender Tuesdays, and such-like.
• Thursdays are for Art Updates.  I am, still and always, a chronically-delayed illustrator.  The problem is that I "ramp up" with consecutive drawing time, instead of "ramping down" from fatigue:  I can make about twice as much art progress in one 8-hour session as I can in four 2-hour sessions, because the longer I do it, the deeper I get into a "flow state."  And I simply don't have giant chunks of free time like I did when I was a teenager, so the frustration of that dynamic makes it hard for me to do any daily illustration work.  But I promise I'm doing my honest best.

I'll be starting the Project:  Spiral updates today, with the first chapter, plus the jacket copy and the prologue as a bonus, because they're short.  After I post this, I'll be getting back to editing chapter 5, which is where I'm at for reference (I have had reliability issues in the past, so I'm working hard - and doing well - at keeping ahead of the game this time).

Also, I was keeping this close to my vest in case I ran out of steam during the past year of writing, but I feel good and sustainable about revealing it now:  P:S is a series, not a single book.  I am very near the To Be Continued milestone at the end of Book 1, so with some rough math, I should have the 20 edited chapters up by mid-February, and the book itself finished by end-of-April (plus or minus illustrations; see above).

Finally, I'm excited to announce that I have a working title for the first book:  A Tale of Fire and Panic.  Stay tuned!

"Project: Spiral" - Chapter 21, part 3b

If you are new to Project:  Spiral, then click here to read the Prologue, or click here to read from the start of Chapter 1.  Otherwise, welcome back!

Content Warning!

This story contains instances, descriptions, and frank discussions of:  depression, personality disorders, and other mental health issues; suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts; child abuse and neglect; graphic violence, war crimes, and institutional/systemic violence; gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, and transphobia.  Reader discretion is advised.

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"Project: Spiral" - Chapter 21, part 3a

If you are new to Project:  Spiral, then click here to read the Prologue, or click here to read from the start of Chapter 1.  Otherwise, welcome back!

Content Warning!

This story contains instances, descriptions, and frank discussions of:  depression, personality disorders, and other mental health issues; suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts; child abuse and neglect; graphic violence, war crimes, and institutional/systemic violence; gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, and transphobia.  Reader discretion is advised.

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"Project: Spiral" - Art Update #13

Right, so... still working on this one, haven't made any progress this past week.  There's been illness, doctor appointments, and we have a dead mouse in our oven and are taking increasingly-involved steps to try and get it out - just tonight, we determined that this is beyond us and we need a professional 'cuz we can't even find the fucker, only smell him.  Also, Lady M looked up hantavirus because of course she did, so now every cough has me wondering if it was wetter than the last, since Mickey or Jerry or whatever his stupid name was had been in the house for several weeks, eating and pooping, before he decided to probably die in a fire.  Grumble, grumble.  So I'm putting this out just to have something up on time, and some previous sketches from years past are below the cut.

Land's sake, why couldn't that mouse die somewhere convenient for us?

"Project: Spiral" - Chapter 21, part 2b

If you are new to Project:  Spiral, then click here to read the Prologue, or click here to read from the start of Chapter 1.  Otherwise, welcome back!

Content Warning!

This story contains instances, descriptions, and frank discussions of:  depression, personality disorders, and other mental health issues; suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts; child abuse and neglect; graphic violence, war crimes, and institutional/systemic violence; gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, and transphobia.  Reader discretion is advised.

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"Project: Spiral" - Chapter 1 (2nd Draft)

If you are new to Project:  Spiral, then click here if you wish to start from the Prologue.  Otherwise, welcome back!

Content Warning!

This story contains instances, descriptions, and frank discussions of:  depression, personality disorders, and other mental health issues; suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts; child abuse and neglect; graphic violence, war crimes, and institutional/systemic violence; gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, and transphobia.  Reader discretion is advised.

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Chapter 1:  Genesis II - God Takes a Mulligan

Outside.  August, 2019.

Em frowns in consternation.  Choosing her words carefully, she says, “The thing is, if I wasn’t your girlfriend, I’d be getting really frustrated.  It’s all so confusing, and I’d be wondering when it’s gonna just get to the point, already.”

Dee takes a deep breath and nods, saying, “Yeah, but going on cool adventures with my best friend kind of is the point.”

“And that’s fine, Babe.  But you have to work that in somewhere.”

Dee twists up her mouth in thought, then says, “I can do that.  I’ll have to re-tool the beginning, though. But that’s not a big deal - I had an alternate beginning in mind, anyway.  It’s more streamlined, and it sets up some good bookends.”

Em sighs and pulls up the covers.  “All right. I still don’t know how you’re gonna get there, though.  I’m just worried that too many people are going to say, ‘Fuck it,’ and give up.”

Dee nods again as she idly runs her tongue over her teeth.  “I think it’s like the Edric thing,” she says at last, leaning against the doorjamb.  “Y’know, where it was too subtle at first, and I just had to be a little more explicit and direct.  I can do that without giving too much away.”

“OK,” Em says with a yawn.  “Good luck. I’m going to sleep now.”

“Get some good rest, Love.”

After exchanging some kissy noises back and forth, Dee walks downstairs and sighs heavily.  “OK,” she says with a nod to herself. “This is doable. You just have to do it. You got this.”  She pours some vodka into what’s left of her cola and settles in on the couch with her tablet. After staring at a blank document for several seconds, she thinks to herself, It’s fine.  Every author’s technically the god of their own world - nothing happens without their say-so, everything works the way they say it does.  I just have to keep that in mind, and stay on the right side of it. Easy-peasy.  She starts typing.

The words come quickly, at first.  It slows down as the world shifts and rearranges itself in her head.  Timelines blink in and out of existence as she considers this and that possibility.  Step by step, potentialities coalesce into a singular actuality. The most difficult part, as always, is how much to trust the reader and how much to spell out explicitly:  it is very easy to say that an author should not assume the reader knows anything, but one simply must assume a basic grasp of language, like vocabulary and grammar - and between pop culture touchstones, world events, meta-knowledge of storytelling mechanics, and a million other things, it’s all on a sliding scale from there.  She shakes her head and takes the Alexandrian Solution: jump in, and let the internet do the rest. After all, if anyone doesn’t know what a “d20 tabletop game” is, they can just look it up on simple.wikipedia.org or something.  Her mind races, the effort causing a dull ache behind her brow. After taking a deep breath, she does a brief meditation exercise to bring the ebbing mania back under control - not to completely tamp it down, just enough to make it coherent.  A sudden realization causes her to frown as she stares off into the middle distance.

Dammit - without that ‘jungle babes’ line, I’m gonna have to cut the bikini leopards.

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"Project: Spiral" - Art Update #12.5

Labor Day is part of Labor Day Weekend, so there.

This is a half-assed one because I got a winning inspiration for how to fix the first chapter and get where I want the story to go but then I had to go and scrub any references to Chapter 1 shenanigans from the rest of the book and I didn't really mean to edit the whole fkn thing this weekend but yup that's how it goes sometimes.

Anyway, here are some sketches I'm working on of HellPhyr:

I don't seem to be able to draw him with a consistent volume of hair, but they're sketches anyway, so I didn't bother with erasing.  The main thing is the outfit design, anyway.  I'll be working on getting the edits all posted up, because it turns out I call back to the first chapter a lot, and maybe I need to stop.